Friday, December 15, 2006

bad day

Please note the time of this post.

When my alarm clock went off this morning -- well, yesterday, now -- I had this premonition of dread. I was actually half an hour late to work because I lay there thinking, "I really wish I could stay home today...this isn't going to be good."

First, the copier on my floor, which also serves as the network printer for most of our employees there, crashed and wouldn't do anything. (The copier itself is another story I can't get into right now.) The circuit board is fried and has to be replaced, which will take a few days because our machine is so old and obsolete that they have to search for this particular part. (Why don't you just replace the machine? you might be asking. That's the story I can't get into. Apparently, according to the decision makers, the thing works fine. ARGH. But I digress.)

So now we have to go downstairs to copy (to a machine that is actually even older and suckier than ours...but I'm *told* that one works just fine, too!) and we're all sharing a printer way the hell the other side of the floor.

Then the switchboard short-circuited. (Apparently dumping a glass of tea on it isn't good for it. Who knew? No -- it wasn't me.) Anyway, so we had to use a regular office phone which can only handle two lines. This, while the press department was preparing for a major story. Fun!

Then the internet went down for a while. There was some other stuff I can't get into. Let's just say it was a thoroughly aggravating day.

Then we had our staff holiday party. Fortunately I had an excuse for leaving early. I won a gift certificate to Border's, so I guess the day wasn't a total loss.

So I came home and eventually made my way into bed. Had trouble falling asleep.

Woke up at 12:58 a.m. to a loud crash.

The Christmas tree was on the floor.

Now...I was in bed, and there aren't any witnesses. (If there are, they're not talking.) So it would be wrong of me to accuse a certain pair of four-footed feline roommates. But the likelihood that this was a cat-related disaster remains high, I'd say.

I actually had tied the tree to the table this year. (It's fake.) I lashed it down good. Even if the cats did have a paw in the catastrophe, it's still partly the tree's fault: the base broke and it could no longer stand up. Not salvageable.

So, I tossed the cats in the bathroom because I really didn't want their "help" with this particular project. "Meow! Meow! Meaaaaaaooouuuuuuwwwww!" Swell.

Then I spent the next hour undecorating my tree, just a mere 10 days before Christmas. I'd say that's a little earlier than I normally get around to taking it down. Fortunately, I did not lose any ornaments, which I consider a miracle.

Have you ever tried to take the lights off a tree that can't stand up? Fun, fun!

Now that I am wide awake and angry, I'm going to hop in the shower, go back to bed and try not to think about everything I have to do tomorrow on four hours of sleep.


Anonymous said...

Aw, no Christmas tree for the kittens. Just think of that joy they continue to bring you as you're wedging the toothpicks between your eyelids today. They love you.

Anonymous said...

a cat-related disaster Don't you mean a cat-tastrophe? ha ha ha

Anonymous said...

cats are da bomb.

mine are two bombs.

a peice.

The Law Fairy said...


I'm sorry, that's a total bummer. Are you gonna replace the tree?

The other night my DVD tower collapsed with a loud crash. This is particularly annoying because I'd just spent hours cleaning the apartment for a party this weekend (still not done yet). Not the same as losing a Christmas tree, I know, but I hear you on the awfulness of having something in your place suddenly break, loudly, in the middle of the night.

I still haven't cleaned up those damn DVDs.

Anonymous said...

You need a hug!

( And a nap. )

little-cicero said...

Just ask Santa Clause for a new tree with a new stand. Duh.

Actually I do wonder what you would like from Santa this Christmas.

By the way, I've thought long and hard about this, and I do believe that Santa Clause visits homosexuals and heterosexuals alike. Actually I believe he tries not to think about sex at all, as he is Santa Clause. He is also of Dutch Catholic origin, which makes him more tolerant of sexual orientations than perhaps a Calvinist Santa Clause would.

I expect a post from you on the subject of the origins of Santa Clause and/or the moral application of his legend relative to the reality of Santa Clause. I have a sneaking suspicion he has been exploited, perhaps rightly, for the purposes of moralists such as myself.

Andy said...

Just ask Santa Clause for a new tree with a new stand.

Ordinarily I would, but as I begin to implement my SECRET EVIL PLAN, I have put a moratorium on purchasing additional "things" unless absolutely necessary.

He is also of Dutch Catholic origin, which makes him more tolerant of sexual orientations than perhaps a Calvinist Santa Clause would.

Actually the Dutch Reform Church has been celebrating same-sex unions for years, and their sister-church in South Africa was largely instrumental in legalizing it there this year.

It's Santa Claus, by the way. Santa Clause is the awful movie series.

I don't really have any thoughts on the moral applications of Santa Claus, aside from the usual reservations about the commercialization of the holiday. Frankly, small children are such beasts sometimes that if it takes bribing them with presents from a fat man who slides down a chimney once a year to get them behave, I'm all for it.

little-cicero said...

Additional purchases? Sounds like you're not a believer! Well, if you don't believe, you won't recieve! That might be the moderate Catholic/liberal Christian alternative to the moralist Santa Claus tradition. The emphasis on believing shifts away the emphasis on goodness. It's all about the philosophical/theological agenda of the parents or society in which his legend is permeated.

Ultimately, saying that Santa doesn't exist is supported by rationalist rather than empirical evidence, therefore I cannot say with certainty that he doesn't exist. That's the great thing about magic- it has a way of evading reality by creating or renovating reality. I do know at the very least that his spirit exists because I saw his countenance on my window pane during my years of doubt, as if to disprove my realization that he was not real.

As for the series, as disappointing as the third of the trilogy may be, the first two were really entertaining family-friendly movies. Tim Allen is a dramatic genius with unmatched artistic integrity.

Okay, now I am officially stripped of whatever credibility I may have possessed on this blog! :) Nonetheless I speak the truth