Believe it or not, this is a color photo.
Monday, February 21, 2005
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Correction
In my Valentine's Day post I lamented that Montserrat Caballe "didn't have an E-flat."
I stand corrected. It's true that she didn't interpolate the traditional E-flat at the end of "Sempre libera" on her recording of La Traviata and I'd never heard her sing higher than a D-flat on any recording, so I assumed she just didn't go there.
I never heard the 1979 Maria Stuarda in Munich with Brigitte Fassbaender. She went there!
I stand corrected. It's true that she didn't interpolate the traditional E-flat at the end of "Sempre libera" on her recording of La Traviata and I'd never heard her sing higher than a D-flat on any recording, so I assumed she just didn't go there.
I never heard the 1979 Maria Stuarda in Munich with Brigitte Fassbaender. She went there!
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Customer Service, Washington Heights Style
Growing up in suburban Oregon you become accustomed to people like supermarket cashiers and gas station attendants greeting you with an enthusiastic, "Hi! How are you today?" as if you're their long-lost best friend. At the supermarket across the street from my apartment in New York City, I'm not exaggerating when I say that normally my transaction is made at the register without a single word being exchanged. Often the cashier doesn't even look at me, even when I say "Thank you." Traveling between the two locales often results in a brief bout of culture shock.
Tonight I stopped in at my local crappy video store to get a movie. (I got Bring it On. It was the poo!)
Let me define "crappy." They have Godfathers 2 and 3, but not the original. Jaws 2 and 4. Steel Magnolias is on the shelf, but the video is missing (yet they leave the box on the shelf). They have four DVD copies of Soul Plane but they don't have Citizen Kane. Kubrick fan? They do have Eyes Wide Shut and 2010, which I know he didn't direct but that's as close as they get.
Once I went in to ask if they had Romy & Michele's High School Reunion and the girl behind the counter furrowed her brow and said, "Oohhhhh...I donnnow these people."
In terms of organization, they have a very simple system. Videos are against the wall, DVD's are in the center shelves. Other than that, there's not even a pretense of subdivision (action, romance, comedy, etc.). Once -- many years ago -- they made an attempt at alphabetization, but -- and seriously, I'm not making this up -- they put every single The movie under T.
So you just go in with an open mind (i.e., don't go looking for something specific, it's not there), start in one corner, and just move along until you find something acceptable. While I was doing that, the phone rang.
"[Company Name Deleted to Protect the Innocent] Video," said the girl, whom I've never seen before. The following is a transcript of her end of the conversation. I can't phoneticize it all very well, you'll just have to imagine this all done in a Washington Heights spanish accent.
"Umm...no, I don't know. Yeah, I can look it up. How you spell that? L-A-U-R...no, we don' got it. What? Um, okay, L-A-W-R...Lawrence of Arabia? Umm, lemmesseee...issout. Yeah. Tomorrow. What? No, thassout too. I know because someone just checked it out. Yeah. What? Um, okay...Chinatown. C-H-I-N...yeah, video only. I said, VIDEO ONLY. No we don' got DVD. What? How many movies you gonna make me look up? I mean, cuz, lady, I don' mean to be rude or nuthin, but like, typically people they come in here and look for their movie, you know? Okay, I'm jus' sayin. We're open until 10:30. Bye."
Then she says to me, for no particular reason, "Did you see Constantine yet?" (It opened yesterday.) "Umm, haven't had a chance yet, no," I said. "Oh my gaw, I GOTTA see that movie! I saw the trailer and I be like, daaayyyyuuumm, that looks good!" (Slate said it's "borderline incoherent, theologically unsatisfying, and short to the point of dwarfism on suspense," but I didn't share that with her.)
So then this lady comes in and she wants a movie version of Frankenstein, preferably the recent Kenneth Branaugh version. (She hasn't yet learned rule #1 about coming in with an open mind.) The girl looks in the computer. "OH, e-I-n, I thought it be like "ine," thass weird. Um, yeah, we gottit."
"Do you have the Kenneth Branaugh version?"
"Um, yeah, 1964."
"What? No, that can't be it, I think it's from the 90s or even later."
"Okay um, well, I don't know, but it says here 1964."
"Could the computer be wrong, I mean, could that be a typo?"
"I don't know." (This is said in that shrugged way where all the words run together and the consonants are omitted, so it comes out like "Iohoh.") "Lemme see if it's back there." She goes away. "Yeah, we got it."
1964 is the index number of the video.
The customer then proceeds to share that she just finished reading the book. "I'm hoping this movie version is more faithful than some of the others," she adds.
"Ooooh, I hate that, when you like, you know, see a good movie and then you read the book and you be like, 'what is this?' cuz it's all different and shit."
I felt that way after The Passion of the Christ.
Anyway, finally it's my turn. I give her my card, she looks up my number, and then I guess she feels obligated to verify my identity.
Is "Andrew" an uncommon name? Because, she stared at that screen for a couple of seconds and then literally had to sound it out. It was barely recognizable. My last name was just beyond her.
Yes, that's me, Awnderroow Mik [pause] kkyurrrreee.
Then I give her a $20. I've just gone to the ATM, it's all I have.
"You don't got change?"
I'm trying to imagine a video store at 8:00 p.m. on a Saturday night that hasn't yet done enough business to make $16.76 in change. But I guess with customer service like that, it's not such a mystery after all.
As soon as I get my job, I have two things to say: a) Cable, b) Netflixx.
Tonight I stopped in at my local crappy video store to get a movie. (I got Bring it On. It was the poo!)
Let me define "crappy." They have Godfathers 2 and 3, but not the original. Jaws 2 and 4. Steel Magnolias is on the shelf, but the video is missing (yet they leave the box on the shelf). They have four DVD copies of Soul Plane but they don't have Citizen Kane. Kubrick fan? They do have Eyes Wide Shut and 2010, which I know he didn't direct but that's as close as they get.
Once I went in to ask if they had Romy & Michele's High School Reunion and the girl behind the counter furrowed her brow and said, "Oohhhhh...I donnnow these people."
In terms of organization, they have a very simple system. Videos are against the wall, DVD's are in the center shelves. Other than that, there's not even a pretense of subdivision (action, romance, comedy, etc.). Once -- many years ago -- they made an attempt at alphabetization, but -- and seriously, I'm not making this up -- they put every single The movie under T.
So you just go in with an open mind (i.e., don't go looking for something specific, it's not there), start in one corner, and just move along until you find something acceptable. While I was doing that, the phone rang.
"[Company Name Deleted to Protect the Innocent] Video," said the girl, whom I've never seen before. The following is a transcript of her end of the conversation. I can't phoneticize it all very well, you'll just have to imagine this all done in a Washington Heights spanish accent.
"Umm...no, I don't know. Yeah, I can look it up. How you spell that? L-A-U-R...no, we don' got it. What? Um, okay, L-A-W-R...Lawrence of Arabia? Umm, lemmesseee...issout. Yeah. Tomorrow. What? No, thassout too. I know because someone just checked it out. Yeah. What? Um, okay...Chinatown. C-H-I-N...yeah, video only. I said, VIDEO ONLY. No we don' got DVD. What? How many movies you gonna make me look up? I mean, cuz, lady, I don' mean to be rude or nuthin, but like, typically people they come in here and look for their movie, you know? Okay, I'm jus' sayin. We're open until 10:30. Bye."
Then she says to me, for no particular reason, "Did you see Constantine yet?" (It opened yesterday.) "Umm, haven't had a chance yet, no," I said. "Oh my gaw, I GOTTA see that movie! I saw the trailer and I be like, daaayyyyuuumm, that looks good!" (Slate said it's "borderline incoherent, theologically unsatisfying, and short to the point of dwarfism on suspense," but I didn't share that with her.)
So then this lady comes in and she wants a movie version of Frankenstein, preferably the recent Kenneth Branaugh version. (She hasn't yet learned rule #1 about coming in with an open mind.) The girl looks in the computer. "OH, e-I-n, I thought it be like "ine," thass weird. Um, yeah, we gottit."
"Do you have the Kenneth Branaugh version?"
"Um, yeah, 1964."
"What? No, that can't be it, I think it's from the 90s or even later."
"Okay um, well, I don't know, but it says here 1964."
"Could the computer be wrong, I mean, could that be a typo?"
"I don't know." (This is said in that shrugged way where all the words run together and the consonants are omitted, so it comes out like "Iohoh.") "Lemme see if it's back there." She goes away. "Yeah, we got it."
1964 is the index number of the video.
The customer then proceeds to share that she just finished reading the book. "I'm hoping this movie version is more faithful than some of the others," she adds.
"Ooooh, I hate that, when you like, you know, see a good movie and then you read the book and you be like, 'what is this?' cuz it's all different and shit."
I felt that way after The Passion of the Christ.
Anyway, finally it's my turn. I give her my card, she looks up my number, and then I guess she feels obligated to verify my identity.
Is "Andrew" an uncommon name? Because, she stared at that screen for a couple of seconds and then literally had to sound it out. It was barely recognizable. My last name was just beyond her.
Yes, that's me, Awnderroow Mik [pause] kkyurrrreee.
Then I give her a $20. I've just gone to the ATM, it's all I have.
"You don't got change?"
I'm trying to imagine a video store at 8:00 p.m. on a Saturday night that hasn't yet done enough business to make $16.76 in change. But I guess with customer service like that, it's not such a mystery after all.
As soon as I get my job, I have two things to say: a) Cable, b) Netflixx.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
The Gates
Below you'll find some snapshots I took today while strolling through Central Park to look at the temporary art installation, "The Gates" by Christo. (Click to enlarge.)
I have to say I wasn't really blown away by it. I think the real problem is that for some reason, they picked the absolute ugliest time of year for Central Park...everything is dead and brown; even what's green isn't especially vibrant right now. A few weeks from now, the grass will be a buzzing yellow green and there will be brilliant flowers everywhere. In the late summer, the park is a rich, deep, dark green. The "saffron" gates might look better mixed in with fall colors, too.
I'm not really keen on a color I can only describe as "detour orange." Basically I felt as if the park looked like it was under construction. But hey, if you're going to spend $21 million, hurray for spending it on a public art installation. The Gates are so popular, maybe they can be persuaded to do it again sometime when the weather is better.
I have to say I wasn't really blown away by it. I think the real problem is that for some reason, they picked the absolute ugliest time of year for Central Park...everything is dead and brown; even what's green isn't especially vibrant right now. A few weeks from now, the grass will be a buzzing yellow green and there will be brilliant flowers everywhere. In the late summer, the park is a rich, deep, dark green. The "saffron" gates might look better mixed in with fall colors, too.
I'm not really keen on a color I can only describe as "detour orange." Basically I felt as if the park looked like it was under construction. But hey, if you're going to spend $21 million, hurray for spending it on a public art installation. The Gates are so popular, maybe they can be persuaded to do it again sometime when the weather is better.
One Small Bone to Pick
I'm tired of taking surveys and filling out forms where they ask you about marital status. Here are your options:
- Single
- Married
- Divorced/Separated
In fairness, I demand another option: "Legally prohibited from being married."
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Fabulous Time Wasting Device
Bored?
Try your hand at the Belief-O-Matic™ and find out what religion you are! (Thanks to Thunder Jones for posting it on his site.)
Here are Andy's results:
100% Orthodox Quaker
88% Mainline to liberal Christian Protestant
77% Unitarian Universalist
74% Buddhist
I'm only 60% Catholic, which isn't a surprise since I have issues with doctrine. I'm also half-pagan, apparently...which is fine. Nothing wrong with a little nature-worship.
Of course, all of my friends are going to come up orthodox atheists.
Try your hand at the Belief-O-Matic™ and find out what religion you are! (Thanks to Thunder Jones for posting it on his site.)
Here are Andy's results:
100% Orthodox Quaker
88% Mainline to liberal Christian Protestant
77% Unitarian Universalist
74% Buddhist
I'm only 60% Catholic, which isn't a surprise since I have issues with doctrine. I'm also half-pagan, apparently...which is fine. Nothing wrong with a little nature-worship.
Of course, all of my friends are going to come up orthodox atheists.
Notes to Myself
When I got home last night, I saw that I had left a bag of Kokuho Rose rice on the dining room table, and I thought, "Well, given the recent mouse issues, I guess I shouldn't leave that out."
So I go to pick up the bag, and a mouse fell out of a hole in the bottom of it along with a lot of rice.
(Note to self: add "rice" to shopping list.)
The mouse leaped off the table and disappeared through a tiny hole in the floor where the heating pipe comes through. (Note to self: add "steel wool" to shopping list.)
I held the rice bag upside down so I wouldn't spill anymore and dropped it in a plastic grocery sack and threw it in the garbage. I tied it closed to prevent spillage. I went to bed.
About 20 minutes later I hear a rustling from the kitchen. I go back to see what's going on now.
Inside the plastic bag with the rice, there is another mouse.
Now, I have valiantly saved the lives of a quite a few mice by capturing them in my humane trap and relocating them to the park. But it was 1:00 in the morning and I was tired and mad. So...down the garbage chute the bag went. I felt guilty about throwing him in the garbage, but consoled myself with the hope that he'll gnaw his way out of the plastic bag and escape before the super throws it into the incinerator. That is, if he survived the four-story fall.
So I go to pick up the bag, and a mouse fell out of a hole in the bottom of it along with a lot of rice.
(Note to self: add "rice" to shopping list.)
The mouse leaped off the table and disappeared through a tiny hole in the floor where the heating pipe comes through. (Note to self: add "steel wool" to shopping list.)
I held the rice bag upside down so I wouldn't spill anymore and dropped it in a plastic grocery sack and threw it in the garbage. I tied it closed to prevent spillage. I went to bed.
About 20 minutes later I hear a rustling from the kitchen. I go back to see what's going on now.
Inside the plastic bag with the rice, there is another mouse.
Now, I have valiantly saved the lives of a quite a few mice by capturing them in my humane trap and relocating them to the park. But it was 1:00 in the morning and I was tired and mad. So...down the garbage chute the bag went. I felt guilty about throwing him in the garbage, but consoled myself with the hope that he'll gnaw his way out of the plastic bag and escape before the super throws it into the incinerator. That is, if he survived the four-story fall.
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