Monday, March 06, 2006

Random Thoughts About the Oscars

In no particular order.

George Clooney: Oh...

Note to self: if I ever sing professionally again, I will have it written into all my contracts that I will not allow myself to be upstaged by a burning automobile.

Ben Stiller: what. the. hell. I'm not even going to put a question mark there, because I don't want to know.

Salma Hayek: You looked and sounded amazing. You made me question how gay I really am. But then the camera swung back over to George Clooney...and I remembered how gay I am.

DOLLY, YOU WERE ROBBED, I LOVE YOU!

Reese, I was rooting for you. I hope those rumors aren't true.

George Clooney: "I'm proud to be part of this Academy. I'm proud to be part of this community. I'm proud to be out of touch." God bless you. Jeebus Crispies, will people stop apologizing for being liberals already? Stop denying that Hollywood is liberal, as if there's anything to be ashamed about. Liberals ain't the ones ruining the economy, starting unprovoked wars and blaming the gays for it. Sheesh. Yes. I'm a liberal. Want to make something of it, you tax cutting, Constitution editing theocratic lemmingtard? (This word of the day courtesy of Spencer.)

Random Guy in the Kitchen at the Party with the Horrible Dye Job Who Said, of Narnia, "Yeah, isn't that, like, totally based on the Bible?": Clearly you are unfamiliar with both. Be gone.

Jon Stewart: No, you didn't bomb. Who said that? I wouldn't say bomb.

Jake Gyllenhaal: Aw...

George Clooney: Really, you should host the Oscars. You're the only one with real class. Actually...hmm, you kind of have that "gravitas" thing down, too. President Clooney...hmm, hmm...well, just a thought.

The Crash Song: I can't decide which awkward moment lasted longest. Ben Stiller, Lauren Bacall, or you.

Brokeback Mountain: You know, I never really thought it was that good. Honestly. It was brave. It was beautifully done. Some courageous performances. Emotionally, though, I got way more caught up in Narnia and King Kong. Still, I voted for you in the Oscar pool at work.

9 comments:

Aethlos said...

omg, no wonder my webstats are skyrocketing... you've linked to me. Glad you like that word, it came to me in a flash of anger - as most of my best material has... and i googled it and was thrilled to discover i appear to be the first person to use it, perhaps i've even coined it! there -is- someone out there with the last name lemmingtard... i wonder if it's even occurred to the lemmingtards how funny their name is? thanx for the props... maybe i'll get posthumous props some day in an urban dictionary. :)

Esther said...

George Clooney, huh? You have good taste in men. ;oD

Marc said...

But nothing about Lauren Bacall?

Andy said...

I included her in the top three most awkward moments...

The Oracle said...

What are the rumors about Reese?

Andy said...

Someone said she's not super nice in person. : (

p.p. said...

I'm still amazed Lauren Bacall didn't drop dead on stage.

I think George Clooney is pompous ass.

Reese's head is too big. She looks like a candied apple.

And, I think Jon Stewart did a good job. I laughed more then, say, at Chris Rock.

Atlantadude said...

>Someone said she's not super nice in person. : ( <

And then there's that whole "Republican" thing, which is what I thought you meant at first!

The Oracle said...

Pfft, she probably isn't. I used to love Reese and think she was the hottest celebrity in Hollywood, but now I'm sick of everyone talking about how "sweet" and "nice" Reese is. I don't know, she seems kinda insincere in interviews. Most of these movie star types probably aren't nice people.