Wednesday, April 02, 2008


You may recall that nearly two months ago I was stopped by a police officer in downtown Portland for having crossed a street against a red light and promptly fined $97 for this egregious breach of civility.

Taking advantage of my superior legal background, I wrote a carefully crafted letter to the judge pleading no contest, but with extenuating circumstances. I submitted a photocopy of my ticket to the opera for the evening, which began at 7:30 p.m., and noted that my citation was marked "7:22 p.m.," which I felt supported the reasonable assertion that I was in a hurry and therefore was somewhat entitled to not have to stand on a street corner and wait for no cars to go by. I asked whether the judge might agree with me that NINETY SEVEN DOLLARS was a tad excessive.

Today I received a refund check in the mail from Multnomah County for $24.

Still, at $73, that was one fucking expensive walk.


Anonymous said...

Way to overcome the system! I would have given you more that a $24 discount, but it is the principle of the thing.


Anonymous said...

A pleaded hasty walk to the hospital would have at least been worth a whopping $87 (enclose some random xeroxed obituary of the supposed "beloved"), a remaining $10 for knowingly flouting the Law.

But, if you got caught by the Court (through some freak/divine happenstance) you'd be in very serious trouble and likely end up in the newspapers as well, compounding your guilt. You got a fair deal.

DJRainDog said...

Ugh. Ridiculous. Whoever had the idea to crack-down on jay-walkers should have his/her legs slowly cut off with no anaesthetic. Fucking litigious idiots in this country.