Rocky Comes Out of the Closet

After work I went out to dinner with some friends. Now, when I come home, I am always greeted by both cats at the door, but tonight only Starbuck was there, and she seemed particularly agitated. "Rocky?" I called out. Nothing. He wasn't in any of his usual hiding places, and this apartment isn't that big. I began to get concerned.

When I opened the bedroom closet door, out he sprang. "Mrao!" he said curtly, as he ran into the kitchen to get some kibble. He'd gone in there -- as he knows he is forbidden to do -- when I'd gotten out my shirt for dinner and then I unknowingly locked him in. (That's why they're not allowed in the closet...and he's made this mistake before, the big oaf.) Then I smelled cat poo. Ew.

But I could not find it. I tore the closet apart, got out the flashlight, but could not find any kitty presents. I decided it must be my overactive imagination.

* * * * * *

So, Obama and Huckabee won Iowa. Color me not surprised. Stupid beltway pundits. I saw this coming months ago. And Clinton came in third. I am beside myself with joy.

Now, let us put some things in perspective: Bill Clinton placed fourth in Iowa in 1992 and Pat Robertson beat Bush Sr. in 1988, for what it's worth. And I think the rest of the country is, after John Kerry, leery of Iowa's taste in candidates. Still, I think what will matter is that Obama won by drawing huge numbers of first-time caucus-goers, independents, and disaffected Republicans. You want to talk "electability"? How about a genuine liberal who gets Republicans to cross party lines? I'm telling you, a Clinton candidacy would have the opposite effect (and here's one progressive who would vote for some Republicans before he'd vote for Hillary). And we've been told all the while that the Democratic race in Iowa was too close to call; Obama whupped Hillary by nine points. So much for her aura of invincibility. Maybe she'd like a nice ambassadorship to Palau.

And I'm sorry, Huckabee is no flash in the pan. Look back over the past few weeks since his numbers started to skyrocket, and look at all the negative media attention he's gotten, all his supposed gaffes, goofy views and silly gimmicks, like trying to dupe news reporters into airing the negative ad he was too nice a guy to run. The pundits have been predicting a Huckabee implosion. He was supposed to be neck and neck with Romney, according to their wisdom. And Romney got stomped. These are the people who told us Giuliani was a lock...how many months ago, now? Hello, fifth place; he got fewer than half as many votes as crackpot Ron Paul (that's where the implosion will be, when liberals and independents impressed by an anti-war Republican start taking a look at his totally verkakte ideas). Huckabee's going to be in it for a while. As I've said here repeatedly, he may be completely wrong about everything, but he shares the views of millions of Americans. He has the evangelical vote sewn up.

So, what happens next week? I'm guessing Huckabee will fall way back in libertarian New Hampshire, where the top three will be McCain, Paul and Romney. On the Democratic side, I think the race will be between Obama and Edwards. It will be the same scenario in South Carolina; I think Obama has a strong shot at winning both. Clinton will continue to come in third, the media will write her off, and she will tank. The Republicans will be different; Huckabee will win South Carolina in a walk, but the GOP nominee will probably be determined by Super Duper Tuesday. I think it will be Romney.

* * * * * *

So I got undressed for bed and was about to put my clothes in the hamper when...I saw I pile of cat poo at the bottom.

The lesson here? I know crap when I smell it. Don't vote for Hillary.