Saturday, April 22, 2006

He Auditioned for This


Yesterday on my way to work I spied a guy (well, I guess it could have been a gal) in a chicken suit hawking (nice pun, right?) Texas rotisserie chicken. And I thought, yes, that is definitely worse than training your whole life for an opera career, only to end up onstage next to your idol with nothing to sing. Though I'm sure he's getting paid. Posted by Picasa

I began to wonder about people like this. How do you find these jobs? Are there ads in The Times? "Wanted: Chicken Impersonator." Is there an audition? "Hello, my name is Julio Suarez, and I'd like to do a scene from Chicken Run."

Maybe it's just an interview. "So, Mr. Braszlawski, do you have any experience playing a chicken?" "No, but once I was a sheep in the church nativity pageant when I was nine."

Perhaps one needs an agent for this sort of work. "Jimmy, it's your manager. Hey, look, I haven't heard back from the Law & Order folks, but I've found a job for you on Broadway." "Broadway, really?" "Yes, Broadway and Wall. You're going to be wearing a chicken suit handing out menus."

The Literal Media

Ah, the New York tabloid press. Here are my favorite headlines from yesterday about President Hu Jintao's visit to the White House.

BOO HU

WOK THIS WAY

DUBYA HEARS A HU

Where Time and Space are One

Last night I was at a party, and someone mentioned that someone we knew was setting up someone else we knew with yet a third person we knew.

"I wonder how long that will last," said one.

"About three inches and thirty seconds," said another.

And the rest of us knew exactly what he meant.

5 comments:

Quinn said...

re: the chicken actor. As the mother of a toddler, we recently attended a Dora the Explorer concert. And I'm now sure that that's where musical theatre aspirants go to become suicidal.

Robert Bayn said...

Maybe this is one of them jobs the Bush economy is creating.

Darius said...

I'm pretty sure you have to be a chicken impersonator prodigy. You know, one of those kids who shows off to his or her friends by making those pock-pock-pock, puh-KAW! sounds, but just never really stops.

Matthew said...

The odd thing is, now there is one more person who can answer:

"Why yes, I do have experience playing a chicken..."

K-Lyn said...

Re: Chicken actor

How would you attend that audition? I mean, dealing with playing a chicken is bad enough but dealing with the realization that you MIGHT NOT GET THE PART would be too much for me to hendle.