Monday, October 09, 2006

Three Peeves

  1. I am really, really tired of women -- and it's always women -- who walk around Manhattan with their head up their ass, usually with a cellphone attached, not paying any attention to what's going on around them. These dingbats walk too slow and meander around like no one else is even in the vicinity. Inevitably, when I try to get past them, they change direction, bump into me, and say, "Excuse you! Watch where you're going, you jerk!" Someday, not only am I not going to apologize, I'm going to lecture the bitch on etiquette and self-awareness. The only women who should be allowed to walk and talk at the same time are ambitious, always-one-step-ahead-of-the-game Type A personalities like myself. Otherwise, find a bench somewhere, since you're clearly not in a hurry.

  2. Dear Manager at the Fort Washington Avenue Associated: Why did you put the trainee cashier in the express lane? Come on.

  3. Dear Starbucks: I don't mind your music promotion sideline. But nobody can hear each other over the music now, it's too loud. Mellower stuff, please, at lower volumes.

16 comments:

Jade said...

Their head up their ass with a cellphone attached? Next time:

"Excuse you! Watch where you're going, you jerk!"

"Wow! It's amazing to me how you can fit both your head and the attached cell phone up your ass! Do you have to go to some sort of circus performance school to learn that, or does it just come naturally?"

Crash said...

I fantasize about ripping the cellphones out of their hands and either throwing them under the wheels of a nearby bus or on top of scaffolding.

Crash said...

Um, by 'them' I meant the cellphones, not the women.

But if they piss me off enough . . .

Gino said...

be grateful you are in manhatten where nobody is driving a car.
come to orange county, it gets worse. because the bitches are on wheels.

Andy said...

At Starbucks in Chelsea the other day, I was really tempted to say to this woman -- who returned her latte to the barrista because there was "too much milk, I want foam only" -- "Do you ever get tired of being a total bitch, or does that work pretty well for you?"

XX said...

At least you don't have any sorority chicks in NYC.

tully said...

Women are most beautiful when they're driving us crazy. Of course I don't live in New York, but I'm probably as annoyed by the fairer sex as you are. Luckily annoyance and beauty can coexist

Gino said...

no they arent,cicerino.
when women are their most beautiful is when they are driving us crazy.

and even then, no matter how hot she looks,somewhere, somebody is tired of putting up with her shit.

Law Fairy said...

Hey, there are plenty of ugly women who will also drive you nuts. And to be fair, y'all drive us to the nutsy place yourselves every once in a while...

As for Orange County, in California it will soon be illegal to drive with a cellphone unless you use a hands-free device. Then all we'll have to worry about are the out-of-state "drivers"...

Brent said...

DO NOT speak ill of the mighty life giver we call Starbucks. -- Sorry, that's the caffeine talking

We should be able to slap the cell phones out of oblivious people's hands. If their face happens to get in the way, too bad.

tully said...

Hmm. And all this time I assumed that the lack of sexual stimuli caused gay men to see the true inner beauty of women.

Steriotypes- they just don't work!

Courtney said...

re: the ability to grab cellphones away from people who are too stupid to use them while walking/driving/etc. I believe Mr. T's new show on TV Land does just that. Everywhere, there are fools to be pitied.

Re: women. LF is right, there are plenty of things that men (and they are always men) do, too.

Jarred said...

Law Fairy: Wait, you mean it isn't already illegal to use a cell phone while driving unless you have a handsfree device? New York state has had that law on the books for at least a couple years now. Of course, I'm not sure it improves the situation as much as some people would like us to think. It still doesn't change the fact that some people get too busy chatting to pay attention to what's going on around them.

Law Fairy said...

Jarred, the Governator just signed it into law a month or so ago. It goes into effect next July, I think.

Chicago's only had it for about a year now if I'm not mistaken... I think it went into effect there right about when I moved. So there's two big cities where it's only recently been outlawed.

Although, personally, I would like to see a law banning noisy whiny kids from cars, because they can be DANGEROUS attention-distracters. But that's never gonna fly in the legislatures...

LeshDogg said...

As a 6', 275# male, I often wondered what would happen if I didn't make the effort to avoid people not paying attention and actually lean in to them...

Anonymous said...

lots of studies re: hands-free hardly improves safety at all--its' the coversations that are the problem, not the buttons so much.