Sunday, November 23, 2008

Sarah Palin's Secret Gay Son

So, I had this very odd dream last night.

My father was reading to me out of The National Enquirer -- so, already you know we are in some kind of alternate-reality here -- an article claiming that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin (you might remember her from such political disasters as "The Turkey Slaughter that Upstaged My Press Conference" and "The Couric Interviews") had a secret son named Brian no one knew about, who had been disowned and exiled because of his homosexuality.

Well, I had to find out if this was true, so immediately I set out to investigate. And then, well, this being a dream, suddenly I was no longer with my father, I was entering a building that appeared to be a library. A vaguely cherubic, slightly pudgy, rosy-cheeked teenager passed me and said, "Hello, Andy."

"Wait -- how do you know my name?" I inquired of the stranger. He winked at me, and then presto we were in some kind of underground lair where he revealed his identity to me.

"You know who I am," he said -- and I did! -- "but I no longer use the name that was given to me. I am now called Shhhhhh." When he pronounced his name, it echoed around the subterranean cavern with terrible authority.

He then explained that during his years of exile he had come in contact with a master race of alien homosexuals and had become their military commander. He was right this moment in the process of initiating an intergalactic invasion that would wipe out fundygelicals once and for all and then said, "But I am looking for a pastry chef. Are you interested in the job?"

Even though I am not a pastry chef, naturally I accepted. Then I woke up.

4 comments:

JP said...

I think you've gotten stranger since you left New York.

Miss you,

JP

Andy said...

Is that a compliment or an intervention? LOL.

Jade said...

Now *that* sounds like a fun dream!

Tim said...

hmm that sounds as good as the one I had Saturday, in which I was dating a girl who family were demon worshiping Nazi's. I can't remember if I was trying to hide the fact that I was gay or not a nazi more....

any who their radio got possessed but a mid level demon and started spouting off prophecies and I was really worried it was going to out me so I hide it under their house. Naturally they were searching for it when i woke up.