Thursday, February 08, 2007

The Colbert Report Report

Have you ever wondered where we got the phrase "bitter cold"?

I'll tell you: stand outside a television studio at the far end of West 54th Street in 23-degree weather for an hour, and bitter may be the only feeling you have left.

At least they have you line up in an alley alongside the building under a plastic canopy which blocked the frigid wind coming off the Hudson River. (The wind chill brought the apparent temperature to 5.) Still, by the time they finally opened the doors, I had lost all sensation in my toes other than pain and did not have the manual dexterity necessary to turn off my cell phone. I had an undershirt, a button-down shirt, a heavy sweater and a long wool coat, big wool scarf, heavy socks, corduroy pants and two pairs of underwear. (Tighty-whities for moral support, and flannel boxers for that warm fuzzy feeling.)

The show itself was great fun. I was really impressed that during the entire taping there were only two takes they had to re-do. I thought tonight's word -- "silence" -- was one of his very best. We were also delighted that Stephen happened to mention Battlestar Galactica. As a whole it was highly entertaining and I totally recommend attending a taping. Just wait for better weather. Oh, and word to the wise: show up on time. Seriously.

I admit I had reservations about the guest, but I remembered a cardinal rule: don't judge a book by its author's hairstyle. Actually what Mr. Pinker had to say seemed rather interesting. I was curious to know more, but of course in this particular venue, the spotlight is always on Colbert and so the guests never really get a chance to say much of interest.

The show airs again tonight at 8:30 p.m. on Comedy Central. I don't believe there are any audience shots, so no point in straining your eyes hoping to catch a glimpse of me.


Brief rant: in the waiting area inside there's a television, which I guess was tuned to Comedy Central. I didn't really notice the program that was on. I just noticed an anti-smoking campaign ad that featured severed human limbs poking out of garbage cans around Manhattan. Apparently, according to this advertisement, more people die of lung cancer every month than there are public garbage cans in all of New York City.

Ummm, more one legged Vietnam veteran Jewish lesbians of color are killed by lightning during trapeze performances in Ecuador each month than there are trash cans in New York City. Hello.


Jade said...

I looked for you but they didn't do any audience shots at all :( They used to, when Colbert ran over to the guest area he used to high-5 people on his way over. I don't suppose you were doing any of the Woo-hoo-ing? I laughed so hard when he made his Battlestar Galactica comment, and said "Oh that's perfect timing!". Dan looked at me and said "Andy a fan?" and I said "He named his cat Starbuck."

Jeff said...

We were in the audience for The Colbert Report last year. Yeah, it's lots of fun, especially when he screws up.

Advice for attending The Daily Show: show up early! Earlier than you think you should!

rick said...

"Ummm, more one legged Vietnam veteran Jewish lesbians of color are killed by lightning during trapeze performances in Ecuador each month than there are trash cans in New York City. Hello."

One of the funniest lines I have ever read on a blog. Period! Thanks for a good laugh. Oh, and I love New York City!

DJRainDog said...

Andy, there are ZILLIONS of trash-cans in New York City. Typically one on every corner, literally, meaning four at the intersection of 181st St. & Ft. Washington Ave., for example. (Strange that as you've decided to leave, I've decided this wretched town is home.)

Andy said...

There still aren't enough. Find a public trash can in New York, and I can pretty much guarantee it's overflowing. There's still garbage lining the streets, even in the good neighborhoods. And subway stations are the worst, usually two cans per platform, also overflowing and home to dinosaur-sized rats.

DJRainDog said...

Of course there's garbage lining the streets; that's where we put it for it to be picked up. If you mean the kind that's not properly bagged, assault your fellow citizens when they throw it on the ground. If you mean the kind that consists of said fellow citizens who throw their garbage on the ground, well, that's another issue entirely. And if I were King of Everything ("as you SHOULD have asked her to be"), THEY wouldn't be a problem, either. ;-) The subway is a different story; MTA property is to NYC as Hong Kong is to China. Kind-of under the same jurisdiction, but not really.