Sunday, May 13, 2007

Back to Plan A

Or maybe it's on to Plan C. Or D. I can't remember.

I'm calling off the active apartment search for a while. I've spent a lot of time thinking about all the stuff I spent a lot of time thinking about in New York the past several months, and I've decided it's wrong to try to rush into a new life here. Yes, living at home with my parents for a while longer is going to be inconvenient and irritating for all of us. How the cats and dogs will interact is a worrisome mystery. But.

It just didn't seem wise to be committing myself just yet to a regular major expense (rent) when there is no regular income in sight. It would be nice to have an apartment of my own, sure; and someday, I will have one. But it doesn't need to be today. Both of these apartments I was interested in were in the price range I hope to be able to afford, but hope doesn't pay the rent. Also, remember that whole purge I went through before I left? I have no furniture, which means no bed, no sheets, no blankets or pillows, no cookware, no towels (okay, one towel), no silverware. If I can settle for a year in an apartment that's $1-200 less a month, then that's well over $1,000 in rent that I could spend on other things, or, worst case scenario, $1,000 less I have to borrow from my parents.

So for now, we're going to wait and see if we can make this "living with the parents" thing work. I just see no real point in spending money I don't have. If the cats and the dogs together prove disastrous, we can go back to Plan B. Let's all hope a job opportunity comes along quickly.

Tomorrow is my first full day of "work" in a month. Mixed feelings. Yay, money! Boo, must put on clothes and no napping.

Today was a good day. I think I've figured out where my church "home" is going to be. It's the obvious local choice, but I've been investigating other parishes for comparison's sake. Nothing is going to be St. Bart's in New York, but it doesn't look like there's any other Episcopal church in Portland that has such a large, active congregation combined with something that comes close to the "high church" fussiness I came to love in New York. (Like Jews, Oregon Episcopalians are a little different than their Manhattan cousins.)

Afterward I went for a long walk at Hoyt Arboretum, 185 acres of forested land in the hills above downtown Portland. It was overcast, so it wasn't ideal for picture-taking. Still, it was nice to be surrounded by tall trees, with the only sounds being birdsong and wind rustling through the leaves. It gave me a chance to attain some clarity on this whole apartment thing.

Then I came home and got all butch and domestic. First I mowed the lawn, and presently I'm watering. You should have seen Rocky and Starbuck sitting in the living room window watching me struggle with the mower in the ankle-high grass. They looked very skeptical.

Now, if you'll excuse me, before I cook dinner (salmone alla griglia), I want to finish this horror short story I'm working on, based in part on true life events: The Zit that Would Not Go Away.


Jeremiah Andrews said...


My father was always apt to tell me that "You can never go home!" He was wrong. But I remind you of the rules of engagement when living under our parent's roof. There are just some things that never should happen.

When I lived at home for two very brief times in my early life - My father was big on curfews, and security, and the fact that I had a key to his house as an adult. He did not like that one bit.

Even as an adult gay man, my father was afraid of me in his house, the older he got the freakier he got about personal security. Being HIV+ made the issue even worse.

Guests... need I say more?

Food, Cleanliness and timing. One can live at home and at the same time, be invisible when necessary. When we visit my inlaws, I know when not to be seen...

Don't rush life, lest you miss something you might need along the way. Do the next right thing and you should be ok. You have become mindful and observant - keep that up and practice your gifts, we have them for a reason.

Hang in there...

This too shall pass.


Gino said...

keep doing the yard work, and making yourself a blessing to have around.
your presence will still get old, but it wont be negative.

Silus Grok said...

Wise choice... for now. But don't confuse "biding one's time" for "parent-enabled, fear-induced lethargy".

At some point — very soon, I'd suggest — you'll need to make a clean break of it and take that leap of faith.

Silus Grok said...

Forgot to add: you survived NYC, you can do this.

We're all rooting for you!

Andy said...

Oh, goodness, people. Don't think I'm *planning* on hanging around my parents' house. Puh-lease! No, I can't wait to get my own apartment. But a big part of the decision to move had to do with wanting to live and work somewhere where half of my salary didn't go toward rent. Right now, there's not even a salary. I'm frickin' sick and tired of sitting alone in my apartment not doing anything in the name of saving money. Screw that.

Jeremiah: no worries about guests. In nearly two weeks alone I haven't been able to tempt anyone to come over to check out the hot tub, so it's not like it's going to be an issue. This house is too small anyway, and I can't even keep my bedroom door closed because the cats and dogs always open it. (It doesn't latch.)

little-cicero said...

Hey, is that short story about little cicero on your blog?

Well, I am pretty interesting. :)

Jade said...

I was going to say, I'm amazed at your speed for getting an apartment. It's probably wise to get yourself a steady income first, so you know around where to look.

Dagon said...

Whew, it's hard for me to read about your housing situation since I'm just now about to move out of my parents' place after ~17 months of "temporary" cohabitation.

All I'd say is that you are going to be living in the same city with them from now on, so make sure you don't stay so long that you start to hate them...

Jeff said...

After law school, I wound up moving back in with my parents temporarily. I stayed for four months, which is still not too long. Since (1) you're actively looking for employment and (2) you're a responsible person, I'm sure things'll be fine.