While there have definitely been some moments of anxiety and frustration over the past months, as I reach this milestone I am drawing a deep breath of satisfaction.
Though I am somewhat surprised that professionally I wound up back in corporate finance, I am really excited about my new job; it has everything I was looking for. I found an apartment that was exactly what I wanted, in the area I wanted to live, and it's really starting to come together. I have furniture and everything now. I found a neighborhood church, and while I miss the formality and grandeur of my churches in New York, I've found a place that is filled with truly nice people, a small but dedicated, eager community for whom my orientation is a non-issue.
I am re-connecting with old friends (having lunch with Quinn, KR and Scott today) and making new ones.
Last week after the movie, this new friend and I went for cocktails at a swanky place in Portland's trendy Northwest district. We were discussing the implosion of my opera career (which conversation happens only over a martini) and my reasons for wanting to move to Portland. I talked about the frustration of my last years in New York, not knowing what to do with my life, struggling with my anxiety and panic attacks and wanting things that New York didn't offer. "I wanted to be able to live like this," I said, as I waved the hand that wasn't holding the Grey Goose gayly around the bar.
It may sound implausible, but in the weeks before I abandoned Manhattan, I would burst into tears every time I heard "Go West." It became the official theme song of my cross-country drive. It still makes me cry, but for a different reason: I did it.
Together we will go our way, together we will leave some day.
Together your paw in my hand, together we will make the plans.
Together we will fly so high, together tell our friends goodbye.
Together we will start life new, together this is what we'll do.
Go west, life is peaceful there.
Go west, lots of open air.
Go west to begin life new.
Go west, this is what we'll do.
Go west, sun in winter time.*
Go west, we will do just fine.
Go wes t where the skies are blue .
Go west, this and more we'll do.
Together we will love the beach, together we will learn and teach.
Together change our pace of life, together we will work and strive.
I love you, I know you love me; I want you happy and carefree.
So that's why I have no protest when you meow you want to go west.
Go west, life is peaceful there.
Go west, lots of open air.
Go west to begin life new.
Go west, this is what we'll do .
Go west, sun in winter time .
Go west, we will do just fine.
Go west where the skies are blue.
Go west, this and more we'll do.
I know that there are many ways to live there in the sun or shade.
Together we will find a place to settle down and live with the space
without the busy pace back east, the hustling, rustling of the feet,
I know I'm ready to leave too, so this is what we're going to do,
Go west, life is peaceful there.
Go west, lots of open air.
Go west to begin life new.
Go west, this is what we'll do.
Go west, sun in winter time.
Go west, we will do just fine.
Go west where the skies are blue.
Go west, this and more we'll do .
Together your paw in my hand, together we will make the plans.
Together we will fly so high, together tell our friends goodbye.
Together we will start life new, together this is what we'll do.
Go west, life is peaceful there.
Go west, lots of open air.
Go west to begin life new.
Go west, this is what we'll do.
Go west, sun in winter time.*
Go west, we will do just fine.
Go wes t where the skies are blue .
Go west, this and more we'll do.
Together we will love the beach, together we will learn and teach.
Together change our pace of life, together we will work and strive.
I love you, I know you love me; I want you happy and carefree.
So that's why I have no protest when you meow you want to go west.
Go west, life is peaceful there.
Go west, lots of open air.
Go west to begin life new.
Go west, this is what we'll do .
Go west, sun in winter time .
Go west, we will do just fine.
Go west where the skies are blue.
Go west, this and more we'll do.
I know that there are many ways to live there in the sun or shade.
Together we will find a place to settle down and live with the space
without the busy pace back east, the hustling, rustling of the feet,
I know I'm ready to leave too, so this is what we're going to do,
Go west, life is peaceful there.
Go west, lots of open air.
Go west to begin life new.
Go west, this is what we'll do.
Go west, sun in winter time.
Go west, we will do just fine.
Go west where the skies are blue.
Go west, this and more we'll do .
* Winter sun not available in all west-coast locations.
2 comments:
Ahh, treacle! My favourite dessert. (I have a special fondness for the Pet Shop Boys' remake of that song, by the way.) I'm glad you're happy, Andy, even if you had to abandon the capital of the world to find it! ;-) (Personally, I found myself singing "N.Y.C." from Annie in the shower this morning.)
I love the footnote to the song :)
I'm so glad things are better for you, and you are finding what you need where you are at.
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