Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Oh. That's Why She Watches FOX.


Behold the glory that is Chad Carter, news anchor for the local FOX affiliate. Move over, Anderson Cooper, let's make room for Chad. (Speaking of Anderson Cooper, did you know he's doing a CNN special on climate change with Jeff Corwin? Is it hot in here, or is that just global warming?)

I was laboring away on the stationary bike this morning, feeling particularly uninspired, when in came sourpuss with her iPod, magazine and trash-bin-destined bottle of water. She predictably flipped on FOX, and then...suddenly my heart rate got right into the zone.

Because I was listening to my Bon Jovi/U2/Pat Benatar/Götterdämmerung work-out mix, I couldn't really hear what Chad was saying. Despite my preternatural aversion to FOX, I was overcome by his hotness. I no longer care. Fill me with GOP talking points, smear me with propaganda, and let me lick it up. Make me get down on the floor and beg for a tax cut. Yes sir, I love it sir, oh, give me that free market!

Actually, it didn't seem particularly biased. I like to think of myself as being fairly savvy, but I'm not sure there's a hidden political agenda behind the stories on the costume sale at Goodwill and the latest update on the Vancouver Flasher. (Side note: doesn't it seem ironic that the police description of a repeat flasher includes what he's wearing? Unless the "orange hoodie" refers to something else?)

So, count me in as a FOX-watcher. I'll just turn the sound off.

14 comments:

Jeff said...

Local Fox affiliates aren't the same as the Fox News Channel, though, right? I always thought it was more of the same local news crap you see on the other channels.

Andy said...

I know. I was being hysterically partisan for comic effect.

Silus Grok said...

She changes the channel on you?

Isn't that a bit rude?

Andy said...

Yes, I think it shows an appalling lack of etiquette to not even ask. Especially since she's not watching the TV either, she has both an iPod and a magazine.

Jarred said...

Call me crazy, but wouldn't it be more fun to lick up the propaganda if he smeared himself with it instead? *g*

Jeremiah Andrews said...

You know that there is a "Thing" going on between Jeff and Anderson. They've been spending a lot of time together...

I think there's a story there....

Jeremy

Mark G. said...

Andy, honestly, when I first glanced at the picture, I thought it was of you. You're both cuties!!

Neel Mehta said...

You know, Republican politics aside, they did name the network "FOX." So your interest is not unreasonable.

Jade said...

That's how they lure you in... with eye candy. Don't fall into their trap!

Hot Toddy said...

I am familiar with your situation. My crush was Rob Marciano, the weatherman in Portland who left KATU to go to CNN. Let's hope your guy doesn't leave you for some bigger news operation! I've never been able to get aroused watching the weather since Rob left.

little-cicero said...

Ah... Torn between lust and political thought. Now you know how I feel when I see Hilary Clinton.

Andy said...

Please, please tell me you're being sarcastic. As someone who loves you (in a distant, platonic, mentorish kind of way), let me say, honestly: you can do better.

little-cicero said...

Sarcasm all the way, baby!

(And I mean "baby" in a distant, platonic, protegeish sort of way)

little-cicero said...

Margaret Thatcher