Swiss Archives, Volume 3

From: Andy
To: Mom
Sent: Tuesday, September 26, 2000
Subject: what i'm dealing with

Lord...

Hopefully we are nearing a resolution on this phone situation.

Here we are on Tuesday morning, still nothing. And so I called the 800 number for the phone company, because somehow that gets through even though I can't call anyone else. Fortunately I was connected to a customer service rep who spoke English because I haven't learned enough German to complain effectively yet. : )

Anyway, we went through all the basic questions first. "Did you fill out a contract?" Yes, honey, I filled out the contract in person last week at the Kreuzplatz office and it was faxed back to the main office. "Did you know that you must pay a 500 Swiss Frank deposit?" Yes, dear, I paid the deposit in cash and I'm holding the receipt in my hot little hand. "Oh."

So she looks up my account on the computer, and she says (really, I'm not kidding): "I see that you did not tell us the name of the person who lived in the flat before you. We need that information to trace the phone line, otherwise an electrician must come to your home to turn on the line."

??????? Now, this girl was very sweet, so I couldn't get mad, but if anyone can provide me with any kind of explanation as to how on earth that is reasonable, I would appreciate it.

I said very politely that I had no idea who had lived here before and had no reasonable way of finding out. Furthermore, I doubted very much that I needed an electrician since I was using that very phone line to speak with her.

Long pause.

"Uh...ehhh...you are using this phone line to speak with me?" Uh-huh. Bingo. "Oh...hold please..."

So after a small eternity she comes back on the line and says, "Sir, I'm very sorry, I cannot explain why you cannot make phone calls. I must refer this to the back office." And THEN, and this is the good part: "IS THERE A NUMBER WHERE I CAN CALL YOU BACK?"

Who would have thought Switzerland would be this weird? Ah, che pazienza!!!

Love,
A