The Job

So, I've officially started at the new job. I'm still in the "overwhelmed" phase, but I am optimistic and eager to really get in there and start doing some work.

Though many of you know where I now work (and for the rest, it shouldn't be hard to figure out), I do want to be careful to maintain my employer's anonymity, so that this blog won't come up on any searches related to the company. Please refrain from making any direct references in comments.

The biggest adjustment for me will be the work culture; I'm kind of wondering if I will ever actually fit in, although I may also relish my role as the eccentric outsider. Hopefully I will inspire people to broaden their horizons, as much as the new job will force me to broaden mine. I've left a universe where "common knowledge" would be something like knowing which film Joan Crawford won her Oscar for and traded it for one where everyone knows who the NFL's leading all-time receiver is. At orientation today we were cautioned that we may see athletic celebrities around, but that we should a) maintain our composure and b) not ask for autographs. This shouldn't be a challenge for someone who astonished his co-workers on his second day by not recognizing a photograph of Michael Jordan. Please, people. You're lucky I know he's a basketball player. If I can maintain composure in the presence of Mirella Freni, then surely I can handle a brush with Tiger Woods.

Speaking of orientation, of the group of 20 new employees being welcomed today, I was the oldest. [*Sheds tear, pours another drink*]

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An Open Letter to My Fellow Oregonians:

Dear Folks,

You know those black and white signs along the side of the road with the numbers on them? Those mean it's okay to go that fast. Come on, people. Let it rip. Go 35 miles per hour. I promise it will be okay.