Topic 1: tonight's fortune cookie.
Listen not to vain words of empty tongue. Exactly. Into the garbage with you.
Topic 2: My New Downstairs Neighbor
She came up earlier this evening to complain that my television was too loud.
It wasn't on.
Topic 3: National Treasure
Okay, I knew this was a dumb movie when I rented it. I wasn't expecting Oscar material. But sheesh, for all the thought that went in to linking all these clues and coming up with Masonic symbolism blah blah blah, they sure left some gaping huge holes.
Like, take this set-up: the location of one of the clues is hidden somewhere in Independence Hall in Philadelphia. Are you with me so far? Good. The location can be identified when the shadow from the tower that used to house the Liberty Bell crosses over it at a specific time. What time? Why, 2:22, the time the clock shows on the engraving on the back of a US $100 bill. (If I had a hundred-dollar bill, I'd check.) What time was it when our heroes discovered this part of the puzzle? 3:00 p.m. Well, shit.
But wait! Don't despair. Hot computer geek Riley (who should have got the girl, I'm sorry) remembers that in Benjamin Franklin's day they didn't have daylight savings time, so right now it would only be 2:00 if it weren't for DST! That gives them 22 minutes to get to the top of Independence Hall to see where the shadow falls.
Okay, clever. Sort of.
Why do we have daylight savings time? Because the sun changes position, hello. (Okay, okay, I know, it's the earth that moves, I'm sorry.) Nowhere in this conversation did a date enter into the picture. I mean, the shadow from the bell tower isn't going to fall in the same place on December 12 that it does on July 7. Actually, they'll be pretty far off. But never mind. On whatever random stupid day it was, Nicolas Cage was able to spot the exact brick (from 100 yards off) inside which was hidden a secret pair of 3-D glasses designed by Franklin.
Also, like...I'm sorry, did it bother anyone else that during a gala event in the National Archives, they'd have exactly one guard watching over the room containing the Declaration of Independence? Of course, maybe thanks to Bush's tax cuts that was an accurate depiction of the current state of security in America.
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2 comments:
Ha! You're not getting any sympathy from me. Next time you'd better rent Shooting fish ...
Maybe your downstairs neighbor is just trying some misguided flirtation...
On the other hand, maybe you can just enjoy the sweet pleasure of having an annoying accusation debunked on the spot.
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