Monday, July 11, 2005

You Gotta Love Stupid People

Scene: busy New York market during pre-dinner rush.

Stupid lady, handing money to the cashier: And can I get a dollar's worth of quarters back, please?

Cashier: (puzzled silence) You gave me two dollars.

Stupid lady: Well, how much is it?

Cashier: $16.27.

Stupid lady: Oh. Do you take credit cards?

The cashier rings her up and hands her the receipt.

Stupid lady: Where's my change?

Cashier: (puzzled silence) You used a credit card.

Stupid lady: I know, but I wanted a dollar's worth of quarters.

Cashier: Ummm...

Stupid lady: Can you cancel that last transaction and ring it up again and charge me an extra dollar for quarters?

Cashier: Why don't you give me one of those dollars back?

Stupid lady: You can't just charge a dollar on my credit card?

Cashier: Umm, I could, but there's a lot of people in line behind you, I think the dollar would just be faster.

Andy: [smiles and waves]

Stupid lady: Okay, but you know, I'm a customer, too.

Old stupid lady: Excuse me, I just have these items, might I go in front of you? [holding a basket with six items in it]

Andy: [holding a soup container and a bagel] Ummmm...sure...


Anonymous said...

This only happens in your neighborhood...the cute boys in Chelsea aren't as dumb...well they're all in retail so of course we all know how to handle money. hehehehe

Anthony said...

You mean to say you let the second one go in front of you? I'm not sure I'm in favour of politeness towards the inherently stupid ...

Jess said...

You were too nice. :)

Andy said...

I think I was too dumbstruck by the chutzpah to say anything but "okay."

I did once go off on a lady in line at the market -- same place, in fact. Same time of day, after work, long line (and this ain't the burbs, people -- forget a whole row of checkers with scanners, this place has two registers and price tags) and after waiting forever the woman in front of me turned and said, "I forgot something, will you hold my place in line?"

I said, "I think you need to ask the permission of the twelve people behind you, too, and in fact, I think my answer is going to be 'no' because I don't think I quite understand why the rest of us should be made to wait while you finish your shopping. Why should we have to stand in line longer because of your lack of organization? Get your thing and get back in line and let the rest of us go home."

I got applause. Ah, New York.

Anonymous said...

the first anonymous poster writes,

the cute boys in Chelsea [are] all in retail...

Retail, huh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days? In my day it was called hustling.


Matthew said...

For some reason I find it easier to be nice to stupid old people than stupid young people.

This also reminds me of a little elevator problem we had in my building the other day. The four of us were getting ready to go out, and for some reason the elevator just wouldn't come off the first floor. We schlepped the kids and cargo down to the ground floor to find two mid-twenties girls in excercise clothes holding the elevator door open to talk to each other. This particularly cranked me up because there is a fitness center on the first floor of our building.

I've always found it odd that people take the elevator up one flight of stairs to go excercise. Are we really thinking this through people?

Anyway, I'd like to think I was still acceptably polite when I confronted her. She did apologize, so it ended up decently.

Matthew said...

"Why should we have to stand in line longer because of your lack of organization? Get your thing and get back in line and let the rest of us go home."

I got applause. Ah, New York."

I thought in New York it was 'stand on line'?

Joel said...

I agree with Matthew. It is much easier to be polite to old stupid people rather than younger ones. After all, the older ones might just be suffering from a wee bit of dementia, poor dears. I'd have let the old lady go ahead of me too ... :)

Andy said...

Matthew: you are correct! re: "on line." However, I'm a West Coaster and some of my turns of phrase have not altered, even in the DOZEN years I've lived here.