I rode the subway home tonight with one of my co-workers from the new job who lives in my neighborhood. In the short time I've been there, we've developed a nice, easy working relationship, but at work there is never all that much time to talk and also, non-profit or not, it's still a business setting. Know what I mean?
Anyway, so we're walking to the train and he says, "So, tell me about yourself, where did you grow up, etc."
This was my response, word for word: "Well, I was born in Seattle, then we moved to California, then we moved to Denver, then in 1980 we moved to Oregon and I grew up there, I lived in Los Angeles for a year, and then I moved to New York, and here I am. Oh, well, I did live in Europe for a year."
I guess it's still just too difficult for me to talk about my former life as an aspiring opera singer. For one thing, it brings up depressing waves of nostalgia, and also because it didn't work out, it's a source of enormous embarrassment and shame for me. I feel like a flake. I don't even tell people that I lost my voice to acid reflux because I fear they'll conclude that's just how I comfort myself and can't admit that I didn't have what it takes in the first place. I mean, to be honest, that's probably what I would assume of someone with that story.
All that hard work, the years of sacrifice, the ambition, the dedication, the many great successes: it's been cut from my bio.
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6 comments:
No reason to feel that way. Everyone has had things in their life that didn't work out. When yours didn't, you were mature and faced that fact, moving on with your life as an adult. There's nothing in there that should cause shame. Nothing at all!
Acid Reflux Probs
Did not Ashley Simpson Stop --
But she did lip synch.
I can only agree with Jess - you've had to find a way out of a situation that was forced upon you. Regardless of what direction your career may have gone, it's obvious you're one who likes to make a difference to people's lives: in that respect, you've not wavered and can justly feel proud of your achievements.
Besides, as you know, you're not the only one to airbrush Switzerland out of the picture!
Ashlee Simpson could
not sing to begin with; but
thanks for your support.
Surely there are in everyone's life certain connections, twists and turns which pass for awhile under the category of Chance, but at last, well examined, prove to be the very Hand of God.
Sir Thomas Brown
"Religio Medici"
(I know you will always miss opera, but I do believe Mr. Brown's words are true. JF)
Okay, we have to talk, because before my current incarnation as a composer I was a singer (though I did much more art song and baroque stuff than opera) and I too lost my voice to reflux.
It was long ago enough that I've found some measure of peace, but I still almost never listen to classical singing anymore. So email me. Unless you don't want to talk about it either, in which case at least know that you're not alone.
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