Sucked into Oblivion

I count myself very fortunate that I live in a basically roach-free apartment. I see one maybe twice a year, which for New York City is pretty great.

Last night, however, I was most displeased to see, for the first time in the nine years I've lived in this apartment, one of those GIANT roaches in the bathroom, also known as "water bugs" or "palmetto bugs."

There is no rational reason why I should be afraid of one of these things, but they are terrifying. I thought about smashing it with a shoe, but I recalled trying that once before in my previous apartment: as I picked up my shoe, I swear the thing turned and charged me. When I finally did get up the courage to get close enough to thwack it, it took like four smacks before it stopped running. And then there was the mess...

Not wanting to try that again, I rolled over him with the vacuum cleaner.