Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Get Over It!

The New York Times today carries an article on little things that bug people and the "inventive" methods they create to exact some toll of vengeance.

One person interviewed is bothered with the way Starbucks refers to the sizes of their drinks as "tall," "grande" and "venti." He would prefer small, medium and large. He insists on ordering a "medium."

Fine. Here's my Starbucks pet-peeve. People who can't properly pronounce venti aren't worthy enough to even patronize Starbucks. Venti, with a long, closed "e" vowel (pronounced, VAYN-tee) means "20," as in, the number of ounces in that particular size. Venti, with a short, open "e" (like a heater "vent-ee") means "winds." So I'm just going to start blowing on the next person I hear who orders winds. Puff, puff. There you go.

Let's not even talk about the people who ask for a "ven-tay." They should be sterilized.

14 comments:

Matthew said...

Sterilization is certainly an inventive way of dealing with Starbucks related mis-pronunciations... =)

Jess said...

Wait, did I read that right? If we're at Starbucks and I mispronounce Venti, you'll blow me? If that's right, um... hey, Andy, feel like going for some coffee? ;)

Thunder Jones said...

Are you defending Starbucks? Dude, we've got to find you a local free-trade coffee shop that roasts their beans in-house.

Andy said...

I don't think there's anything in this post that could be construed as a defense of Starbucks. Difendo solo la bella lingua italiana!!! E condanno la stupidita' degl'Americani! Noi abbiamo tutti questa paura delle lingue stranieri.

Jess: Umm...no.

Jess said...

*sniff*

*sulk*

;)

Anonymous said...

Io parlo italiano!

Andy said...

Ah, Riccardo mio, dove sei stato tutta mia vita? Facciamo l'amore presto!

Anonymous said...

Sono stato nella Canada, nel Messico, negli Stati Uniti ed in Spagna... E faremmo l'amore se fossi a New York (o voi erano nel Messico!)

:)

Anonymous said...

I hope my Italian is not too crappy :)

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh -- I couldn't sleep last night after reading this. I realize now that on my last two trips to Italy the word "venti" which I use often while shopping...was mispronounced as "vent-ee" (although I did place a major accent on "vent"). What will I do without you on my trip to Venice in May? I'm going to start practicing VAYN-tee right away.
JF

Andy said...

1) speak English

2) you get your own bathroom

3) I'm saving you a lot of money

Anonymous said...

So Andy, you didn't answer my proposition in Italian :)

Andy said...

Non so come devo rispondere; non vado presto a Messico. Quando vieni a New York? E sara forse solo una romanza dell'internet.

Anonymous said...

Andy,
I used your bathroom every day anyway...you were always up and out before I got up! How can you turn down Venezia? My fractured Italian got me everything I wanted and I don't think I want to appear to be American on this trip anyway -- maybe Swiss...
JF