Only an Hour Late on the Day I Apply for the Job

Thank you, New York City Transit.

Okay, it wasn't really their fault. I haven't had to blog about my commute in a while, so I guess I'll count my blessings.

I was totally on time this morning -- even had enough extra to walk in the bright, mild morning spring sunshine from Columbus Circle to the office.

And then we stopped in the tunnel at 72nd Street. "Ladies and gentlemen, due to a police investigation, we are being held at this time."

Five minutes go by. Ten. Fifteen. "Ladies and gentlemen, due to a police investigation, we are being held by supervision, please be patient." Twenty. Thirty.

Slooooowwwwwly we roll into the station. The platform is swarming with police officers.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are unable to open the doors until we get permission from the police."

This being New York, the passengers who've now been delayed half an hour on a crowded train (memo to self: offer sacrifice to the gods of public transportation for granting me a seat this morning), begin to talk.

"This shit is fucked UP, yo!"

Cops are circling our train like blue sharks on a dying whale.

One woman pounds on the subway door. "ExCUSE me, can someone tell us what is going ON, please?" The cop says, "Looking for someone."

A D train lumbers in on the local track. After a few moments, the doors open, passengers come and go, and it rolls out.

"Aw, come ON!"

"Why they let those people go, we been sittin' here for forty damn minutes!"

Says a distinguished-looking gentleman in a low voice, "Because whoever they're looking for is on our train."

Silence.

"Okay, listen up, y'all. If you be the killer, you better just give yo'sef UP, because I am LATE, you hear? You surrender or imagonna beat cho ass!"

"Mommy, is there a killer on the train?" Little girl starts go cry.

"Okay, can we watch our language, please? There's children present. We don't know it's a killer."

"It could be a terrorist."

"Mommy, a terrorist!" (wails)

"Thanks, that was a big help."

"Maybe it's Ken Lay."

Within a few moments the doors opened. No further information was given other than there would be no downtown train service at this time. So I got my walk from Columbus Circle after all.