Saturday, March 26, 2005

When Friends Give Up on You for Lent

I gave up alcohol for Lent.

As I am a frequent social drinker, this change in my behavior was hard to hide from my friends. Why would I hide that, you ask? Was I embarrassed? No. The reason is that Jesus taught us, “When ye fast, be not as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, they have their reward. But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face, that thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.” (Matthew 6:16-18)

Since my friends won’t buy “Oh, I don’t feel like drinking tonight” for six weeks, I decided the best policy was just to be honest about my abstention but try not to make a big deal of it. Some friends were more supportive than others.

Few of my friends are people of faith, so it’s only natural they have questions. I explained that, as a Protestant, Lenten fasts are not required but rather a symbolic tradition; by giving up something trivial for a period of time, we are able to remind ourselves of Christ’s much greater sacrifice. But many of the questions that were posed were mocking in tone; one person even said, “You’re wasting your time.”

“Jesus doesn’t care if you drink or not,” said another. They all want to know exactly what time tomorrow I can start drinking again, as if God is up there with a stopwatch.

Today I saw a woman wearing a t-shirt that said, “Beware Christianity.”

How is it that among intelligent, well-educated, urban Americans, it’s socially acceptable to ridicule someone’s deepest, most personal beliefs?

It’s a question that has been in my head for the last forty days or so.

The answer is that many of American Christianity’s public faces have turned our faith into a joke.

Public Face Number One would have to be George W. Bush: a man who publicly and repeatedly accused a foreign government of an atrocity it did not commit, while his administration was largely made up of people from a previous administration who failed to act when real atrocities were taking place. He accused this government of possessing and manufacturing weapons it no longer had, and took our nation to war on a demonstrably false premise, which he has neither confessed nor apologized for. Indeed, when challenged on the issue he is proud and defiant, and maintains that no mistakes have been made.

He is a man whose faith-based priorities include banning gay marriage and cutting short a vacation to sign an unconstitutional law, but somehow don’t include banning the sale of guns to known terrorists or cutting short a vacation to investigate urgent warnings of imminent attacks. He says his faith guides him, as he pays for tax cuts for the ultra-wealthy by cutting funding for programs for the poor. Saying that we must always err on the side of life, he executes the mentally retarded.

Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania is actually worried about “man on dog” sex, and, apparently without irony, warned that gay marriage would lead to polygamy, even though it was a common Biblical practice.

Proclaiming his innocence, Tom DeLay weakens congressional rules on ethics.

James Dobson warns Congress about SpongeBob Squarepants.

Catholic bishops move to deny the Eucharist from John Kerry during his presidential campaign because of his stance on abortion; no move to withhold the sacrament from people who support George Bush’s war, which the Pope said was immoral. A Vatican official warns that The DaVinci Code is full of lies.

And recently, self-identified Christians have taken up the cause of Terri Schiavo, accusing the judge in the case of “judicial homicide” and threatening to kill him, again, without apparently seeing any irony.

Christian America, wake up. Stop thumping on your Bible, and open it up. Read it. Ask yourselves if your leaders know what’s in there. Being a Christian is hard. You are required to love your enemies; you are required to be generous; you are required to forgive; you are forbidden to judge. Take up that challenge.

Secular America, wake up. Many of the values you hold dear for yourselves are contained in the Gospel. Don’t mock what you don’t understand and haven’t bothered to learn about.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking back to when you were about ten years old and you wanted to be a minister when you grew up. Maybe you had something there. We need people like YOU preaching the gospel to the people. You have it all together. You have the message ALL need to hear. I am beginning to be thankful that I let you explore all religions at an early age so that you could become whole. JF

Anonymous said...

Dude, wake up: your friends are assholes.

Jess said...

It's not what Jesus taught that is the problem. The problem, as you clearly recognize, comes from the leaders of many organized religions and the twisted messages they're spreading.

Secular America isn't angry at Jesus. It's angry at those who say they represent Jesus. I'm a Jew, and I can see how wrong they are. Unfortunately, many of the people who identify themselves as Christians don't understand what Jesus was trying to tell them.

They use religion and narrowly selected biblical passages to support their view of the world. Jesus didn't need big cathedrals or fancy organizations to proclaim the message of peace. These are the trappings of organizations that are as political as they are anything else. Sadly, I doubt that we'll see real change in these institutions in the foreseeable future. I won't look to them for leadership. Rather, people who live good, giving, caring lives, as Jesus would have them do, will make the world a better place, regardless of their own religious identity. Being a good person isn't about being a Christian or Jew or Muslim. It's about living every day with concern for your fellow man. That is the point.

Anonymous said...

Jesus loves us regardless of whether we are gay or not... or maybe because we're gay!

Richie

Anonymous said...

Santorum's an idiot. If gay marriage leads to polygamy, doesn't that mean that gay marriage makes straight people want to get married more?

Matthew said...

I find it insulting to be told that I don't "understand" and "haven't bothered to learn" about Christianity (and there are other religions, btw - hundreds, if not thousands of them - which one is right?).

I've basically read this post and been told that I'm an ignorant ass who can't think for himself. It's not that I (and many other secularists) have done our homework, read-up on religious history, and have come to the conclusion that it isn't 'truth,' but instead we're just fools who don't understand.

Let me drop this to you simple-like: Maybe you and your belief in one of the many religions out there is totally spot-on. Then again, maybe not. The whole point of this is that we've looked at the same thing, and come to different conclusions.

I'd be happy if you didn't insult myself and others for doing so.

anonymous: Why do we need more people like Andy preaching the gospel, if this is how he's going to come across?

Andy said...

Yikes, Matthew, I hope you will accept my apologies. I never meant for my post to be taken that way; a potent reminder that generalizations of any kind are weak and reckless persuasive tools. I recognize that there are secular people who are quite familiar with Christianity or other religions; many of my secular friends have, quite frankly, been driven away from religion.

My post was a reaction to thinly-veiled aggression in the guise of gently mocking questions posed by a friend of mine who, sad to say, proved that he really doesn’t know what he’s talking about. In his case, I suspect that somewhere in his past he was deeply wounded by misguided – if perhaps well-intentioned – theology. My challenge to people like him is to open up the Bible and really see what’s in there; I think they will be surprised to find a lot of their own beliefs reflected in Jesus’ teaching, and none of the paranoid, hate-filled bullshit you hear from “Christians” on TV.

I don’t think anything I wrote implied that secular types were, by nature, ignorant, and I certainly never said anyone can’t think for themselves. You may have noticed that this whole post came into being because my friends are mostly nonreligious. And though I self-identify as a Christian, in all honesty I don’t believe there is only one path to righteousness. With regard to other faiths and practices, I think God reveals himself to different people in ways they can understand, and I know deep in my heart that the God I pray to hears all sincere prayers, regardless of the name by which He is addressed.

At any rate, I did not mean to insult your beliefs, however you arrived at them. I wanted to know why it was okay to insult mine.

Anonymous said...

It's interesting to read all of these discussions.

Andy - I didn't know you were very religious. My Mom tends to be more religious than I am (I was born Roman Catholic). I have tended to lately not be much of a follower of the rites of the Catholic Church. I do, however, try to be a good man and to do as much good to the world as I can. I do believe that there is a God and that I am who I am and what I am because He made me reach the place where I stand now (and I am very happy there!).

Anonymous said...

This was a GREAT post! I had an entirely different impression than Matthew. I thought your discourse was balanced. You had wake-up calls for both Christians and seculars.

I feel it is difficult to be a theist when so many manipulate and misuse Scriptures for their own sanctimonious, self-serving purposes. Being a believer who is gay is even more difficult. Many fellow believers decry my sexuality while many fellow gays denounce my beliefs. Reading a post from a man who is both gay and a theist – especially one who is sensitive, knowledgeable, insightful, and articulate -- is GREAT! Please don’t let others deter you. Blog on!

Chris

Andy said...

Wow, Chris...thanks for the validation. : ) Perfect timing, you've made my day.