Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Bush Declines Katrina Request, Citing Security

WASHINGTON - Bush Administration officials today declined to turn over internal documents related to Hurricane Katrina, citing national security concerns.

"If hurricanes were aware of the tactics we use, they could alter their strategies, making it more difficult for us to prevent the kinds of disasters we saw in New Orleans last year," said White House spokesman Scott McClellan.

Bush, in an appearance at Fisher Elementary School, a conservative think-tank, referred reporters to the Supreme Court's 2003 ruling in Hillside Dairy Inc. v. Lyons, saying it reaffirmed executive privilege in concealing sensitive weather-emergency related documents.

Additionally, the ACLU has filed suit against the National Weather Service, following a New York Times story last week indicating that the NWS had taken satellite images of hurricanes and other weather systems without first obtaining a warrant.

Senator Joseph Biden (D-Del), criticized the President saying, "This reminds me of a road trip my family took through Kansas when I was a young man, and a major snowstorm shut down the roads for hours and we were stranded at a motor-inn," he began, and 21 minutes later concluded, "and this is exactly why the Senate needs to oppose the Alito nomination, so that we don't have a court giving rubber stamp approval to a White House when it comes to hurricanes."

In response, Senator Bill Frist (R-TN), accused Democrats of playing politics with the weather. "Republicans have a plan to confront hurricanes before they strike, but Democrats would prefer to cut and run to higher ground, and would vote for a tax hike to pay for buses to evacuate the poor and the enfeebled. I am introducing legislation that would offer a tax deduction for people who purchase SUV's for the purpose of fleeing a hurricane."


Jean F. said...

Okay, I caught on after I read the quote from Scott McClellan... Very clever, Junior.

Trickish Knave said...

This is probably some of the best satire I've read on your blog.

little-cicero said...

Hell yeah! If we turn over our strategery to mother nature, the hurricanes win!

And another thing, if you've got a problem with that, remember, you're either with us, or you're with the hurricanes!

Matthew said...

Very funny. I particularly enjoy your satire.

SailRacer said...

Go Andy! A few more like this one and reach out for advertisers.

little-cicero said...

Great post Andy! It's too far fetched for either side to be offended- that's my kind of satire!

Anthony said...

Not that you really need much inspiration for things to write about, but you've been tagged.