Saturday, January 07, 2006

Dozen, etc.

Well, due to my recent (and ongoing) illness (no worries, just a bad cold), I completely forgot to observe the 12th anniversary of my move to New York City, on January 4, 1994. I don't have anything to add to the sentiments I expressed this time last year, other than to say, oh my God, I'm going to be 32.

*****

As a Christian, is it wrong for me to want a television character to die?

I have disliked Battlestar Galactica's Admiral Kane ever since she first stepped off the Pegasus last fall. I don't dislike her in the way one dislikes Scrappy Doo (i.e., I like to pretend it never happened), I dislike her in the way one dislikes Tilda Swinton in the Narnia movie. She's the bitch you love to hate. She's fun. I am delighted that President Roslin shares my opinion, and I look forward to her imminent demise.

*****

The diet is going okay. One of my vendors from work sent me a belated Christmas present: white chocolate-covered fortune cookies. *drool* Two of my favorite things, together at last! But seriously, isn't everyone on a diet in January? Who sends chocolate-covered cookies as a present in January? Cruel bitches. I figured it would be rude not to have one, though. It was delicious. (My fortune said "You Will Soon Be Sitting on Top of the World", which doesn't make it sound like the diet is going to go well.) Then I promptly set them out on the counter in the lunchroom and they were gone before I could flip the fortune over to learn how to say "perspicacity" in Chinese. (繁體中文版)

I miss sweet things. I love ice cream and cookies and doughnuts, preferably all at once. And I miss alcohol. Well, more than that, I miss flavor, especially when drinking. Since I can't even have fruit juice during the first two weeks, I'm going crazy on water and tea. Hell, this afternoon I had an extra glass of metamucil because it tastes good. (Sugar-free, of course.)

The NyQuil I had last night before bed nearly set off an orgasm. Color! Intense flavor! The sweet dizziness of intoxication!

I miss not being able to crack open a pint or two of Ben & Jerry's after dinner. A slice of non-fat low-sodium Swiss cheese is just not the same.

*****

At work we have decided to include staff members' spouses or partners on the company directory, so everyone is supposed to email me the name of their partner as they'd like it to appear. So far three different people have responded, "Jake Gyllenhaal."

I put down "Snuffleupagus."

*****

Another homophobe turns out to be gay. Over at Slacktivist, the Lefty Christians are all in a huff: "I think Rev. Latham's bigger sin was to use the bastardization "pastoring" and to use it as a transitive verb. Unless, of course, "pastoring" has a new meaning in homoerotic slang that I don't know about."

It does now.

*****

And, finally, speaking of Jake Gyllenhaal...

11 comments:

Anthony said...

I almost got an orgasm thanks to a seriously good dark chocolate chilli brownie. Zoinks! jinkies! etc.

JP said...

When will the first two weeks be done?

Andy said...

Phase II will start the Tuesday after the MLK holiday, and that lasts until I reach my target weight.

JP said...

I wanted to know when to get you a bottle of red wine to celebrate.

Andy said...

Jeez, can we say, "enabler"? j/k!

tribecatexan said...

metamucil? what are you doing taking that? are laxatives part of the diet?

Andy said...

No, not part of the diet. I have digestive issues and that really seems to help.

David in KC said...

Andy,

I've always pictured you as a younger, blonder Nathan Gunn. Who, by the way, I saw shirtless in Chicago in "Billy Budd." Please don't ruin my fantasy by blogging about diets!

jwc said...

kill that bitch Kane, the cunty twat deserves it!

Andy said...

Put that thing out the airlock!

Anonymous said...

NYC Anniversary: Flee! Flee the City before you and your neighbors are quarantined, vaporised, or you're cannablised by some random trick. Trust me, NYC is absolutely dangerous. Flee!

Battlestar Galactica: I love this show. But, i can't say i wasn't laughing when the President's earthy-crunchy-purple priest stepped on a landmine while approaching the Tomb of Athena on Kobol. I'm not a big fan of the President or her religious-fundamentalist entourage (minus the landmined priest). I like Adamah a great deal, and even his XO Saul. And, to be honest, i like Cylon's religion a ton better.

NyQuil: Isn't the "active ingredient" in that stuff the same junk they cook into Tina? Hmm?

rob@egoz.org