JANUARY: Coming to terms with George Bush, subway fire threatens A train service for up to five years, Buster meets some lesbians, the SpongeBob crisis, Iraq's first election, and accidental fellatio.
FEBRUARY: Bush tries to save Social Security by getting rid of it, The Gates, City of New York appeals judge's ruling on same-sex marriage, and Republicans attack Social Security as part of the homosexual agenda.
MARCH: Andy gets an iPod, it's venti not ventay, America debates the sanctity of life, Andy turns down a job offer.
APRIL: The passing of John Paul II, Justice Sunday, a new pope, Andy gets a job.
MAY: Get the Drano, there's a Koran clogging the toilet, America debates stem-cell research, the battle over Intelligent Design begins and Star Wars ends.
JUNE: Howard Dean disappoints, the Michael Jackson trial, and the Commandments and the Constitution.
JULY: The Vatican explains evolution, the London bombings, Judy Miller goes to jail, and John Roberts is nominated to the Supreme Court.
AUGUST: More debate over Intelligent Design, is John Roberts pro-gay?, and Justice Sunday II.
SEPTEMBER: Hurricane blows away Bush's approval rating, gays get blamed, rumors of a Vatican gay purge, and Bill Bennett argues that aborting blacks would lower the crime rate.
OCTOBER: The Harriet Miers Show, ID'ers keep trying, and a lesbian athlete (who knew?).
NOVEMBER: The Alito nomination, Andy gets cable, cut and run, best TV freakout ever, and the Vatican bans gay priests (for real).
DECEMBER: The War on Christmas, The Lion, the Witch and the Gay Cowboys, and a really stupid transit strike.