Friday, December 30, 2005

As Andy Saw It: 2005

JANUARY: Coming to terms with George Bush, subway fire threatens A train service for up to five years, Buster meets some lesbians, the SpongeBob crisis, Iraq's first election, and accidental fellatio.

FEBRUARY: Bush tries to save Social Security by getting rid of it, The Gates, City of New York appeals judge's ruling on same-sex marriage, and Republicans attack Social Security as part of the homosexual agenda.

MARCH: Andy gets an iPod, it's venti not ventay, America debates the sanctity of life, Andy turns down a job offer.

APRIL: The passing of John Paul II, Justice Sunday, a new pope, Andy gets a job.

MAY: Get the Drano, there's a Koran clogging the toilet, America debates stem-cell research, the battle over Intelligent Design begins and Star Wars ends.

JUNE: Howard Dean disappoints, the Michael Jackson trial, and the Commandments and the Constitution.

JULY: The Vatican explains evolution, the London bombings, Judy Miller goes to jail, and John Roberts is nominated to the Supreme Court.

AUGUST: More debate over Intelligent Design, is John Roberts pro-gay?, and Justice Sunday II.

SEPTEMBER: Hurricane blows away Bush's approval rating, gays get blamed, rumors of a Vatican gay purge, and Bill Bennett argues that aborting blacks would lower the crime rate.

OCTOBER: The Harriet Miers Show, ID'ers keep trying, and a lesbian athlete (who knew?).

NOVEMBER: The Alito nomination, Andy gets cable, cut and run, best TV freakout ever, and the Vatican bans gay priests (for real).

DECEMBER: The War on Christmas, The Lion, the Witch and the Gay Cowboys, and a really stupid transit strike.

3 comments:

little-cicero said...

If I argued all of the distortions listed in this post my comment would take up the whole page. I'll just say Happy New Year!

Aethlos said...

that donnie darko is so yummy.... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

You left out Britney's baby, Nick and Jessica, Paris and Paris, and the new Madonna album. What's wrong with you?