Let Me Out!

The MTA, the agency that runs buses, subways and trains in the New York City area, is proposing a series of new regulations and policies, among which is the permanent locking of doors between subway cars for the purpose of safety. It's true that several people have died or been injured in unfortunate incidents while changing or riding between cars while the subway was in motion.

As residents of New York know, sometimes you find yourself on a car without air conditioning or that has some unfortunate, unbearable smell. And other times you just get the sense that you'd be safer in a different car.

On most trains, it's only a minute or two between stops. However, I ride the A express train to work and back every day, which makes a nonstop, 10-minute journey between Columbus Circle and 125th Street.

A letter to the editor in today's New York Times illustrates the well-intentioned but shortsighted folly of the new policy:

It is to be hoped that the London bombings will convince the Metropolitan Transportation Authority in New York that locking subway car doors, which is done on many trains, is a tragedy waiting to happen.

It is unconscionable that officials would proceed with a policy that traps people inside subway cars in light of what has happened in London. They must unlock all the doors on all subway lines now!

People must be able to get out of the cars in an emergency. Are you listening, Peter Kalikow and Katherine Lapp?

The solution to safety is not to limit passengers' options, but rather to clearly post signage on the door emphasizing that changing cars while the train is in motion is extremely dangerous and should only be done in emergencies.

Was George Bush Right About Iraq?

In light of today's bombing in London, does anyone want to argue that the war in Iraq has made us safer, as the Bush administration repeatedly insists?

Being Reasonable

It's a rare moment when I find myself in agreement with the Vatican.

The New York Times today carried an Op-Ed by Christoph Schönborn, the Roman Catholic cardinal archbishop of Vienna, detailing the Catholic Church's present thoughts on evolution. I was ecstatic to read it.

Religious fundamentalists have done the integrity of Christianity a tremendous disservice by insisting on the intrinsic inerrancy of the collection of writings we call "The Bible." Their repeated assertions that everything in the Bible is literally and constantly true reveal their own ignorance of Scripture, because they choose to deny, ignore or disingenuously explain away the Bible's internal contradictions.

For a fine example, see my satirical and unintentionally timely "letter" to Moses in the post below. Genesis Chapter 1 says birds and fish were created on Day 5, and that land animals and man were created on Day 6. Chapter 2 does not mention a 7-day timeframe, but makes clear that God created man first, and then created all land animals and birds in order to provide him with a companion. Now, this is perhaps a fairly minor inconsistency, but there it is, nonetheless.

Fundamental hysteria over the literal veracity of the Bible, and the current prominence of evangelicals in our media and government, has the unfortunate effect of promoting the belief that religious faith is by definition in opposition to science. The irrational behavior of fundamentalists comforts non-believers, who feel that atheism is somehow an enlightened position. In fact, what you have are two groups who refuse to acknowledge the obvious. Atheism isn't enlightened, it's ideological radicalism. Creationists aren't faithful, they're willfully blind.

A friend of mine insists he belives in "reason," not religion, as if they are mutually exclusive, but Cardinal Schönborn smartly rebuts in his editorial, "Any system of thought that denies or seeks to explain away the overwhelming evidence for design in biology is ideology, not science."

So what is the Catholic position on evolution?

"Evolution in the sense of common ancestry might be true, but evolution in the neo-Darwinian sense - an unguided, unplanned process of random variation and natural selection - is not."

No atheist has ever successfully explained to me how an utterly random, purposeless, causeless series of events resulted in the astounding world in which we exist. In fact, that is a far more unreasonable ideology than accepting the obvious order and structure of life and the universe and concluding that there has been a guiding hand in the process.

Pope John Paul II wrote, "To speak of chance for a universe which presents such a complex organization in its elements and such marvelous finality in its life would be equivalent to giving up the search for an explanation of the world as it appears to us. In fact, this would be equivalent to admitting effects without a cause. It would be to abdicate human intelligence, which would thus refuse to think and to seek a solution for its problems."

Schönborn concludes, "Now at the beginning of the 21st century, faced with scientific claims like neo-Darwinism and the multiverse hypothesis in cosmology invented to avoid the overwhelming evidence for purpose and design found in modern science, the Catholic Church will again defend human reason by proclaiming that the immanent design evident in nature is real. Scientific theories that try to explain away the appearance of design as the result of "chance and necessity" are not scientific at all, but, as John Paul put it, an abdication of human intelligence."

Ancient Document Inflames Creation Theory Debate

May 12, 1346 BC

Moses
265 West Benny Goodman Lane
New Lauderdale, Sinai

Dear Mo,

Just received the first drafts of your proposed book, and...holy golden calf is all I can say! You've sure given us a lot to work with. I'm really blown away. I confess I skipped ahead a few scrolls and thumbed through that whole flight from Egypt bit. I think that segment has the makings of a major blockbuster film -- mind if I send an outline over to Bruckheimer to see what he thinks? I mean, I'm sure he'll want to flesh out your early adulthood and throw in a love-interest (probably a triangle, knowing him), yadda yadda yadda, but it's really spectacular. There's a part in there for Angelina, don't you think? (Though if you want Oscar nominations, the studio execs will probably push for Zellwegger.)

Anyway, I'm getting way ahead of myself. I had a couple of minor concerns I wanted to just throw out there before we get much further, if that's all right.

I'm confused about your timeline; it's probably just an editorial oversight that can be smoothed out. In Chapter 1 of Genesis, you've got man and woman created on the sixth day, after all the animals. Fine. (Also, I really feel the first couple sentences of Chapter 2 belong at the end of Chapter 1, take a look at that.)

But then in Chapter 2, you get man created all by himself in verse 7; in verse 18, God says, "I will make him a helper comparable to him," and then in 19 you write, "Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air." None of them work out as a companion for Adam, so then God creates Eve. Except you just said in Chapter 1 that the birds came on Day 5.

So, did God create Adam, parade all the animals in front of him, and then create Eve? I hope he gave Adam the 7th day off, too, he must have been exhausted! I took my grandkids to the zoo last week and was completely farmutshet in about an hour! Anyway, it just seems to me that Chapter 2 puts things in a different order than Chapter 1.

Most people will probably gloss right over that kind of detail, but to be honest I worry that you'll alienate some of the more anal retentive readers early on and lose them.

Also, are you sure we can't do better than, "In the beginning..."? I don't know, work on it, try some things out, let me know what you think. I feel like a book of this magnitude needs a snazzier first line.

Dialogue needs help. More of it and less stilted. I hate to encourage more text because you're already pushing the boundaries of readability in terms of length, but I strongly suspect there's several pages in Numbers you could cut and be better off.

Anyway, these are just some preliminary thoughts. I'll have more detailed comments later.

Hope you're doing well, please give my love to Aaron, Miriam and the kids.

Warmly,

Herschel Ben-Wa
Avram and Sons Publishing
New York, New York

AOL: Bite Me

If you have tried to email me recently and gotten an error message (specifically, ERROR 554 TRANSACTION FAILED), this is because AOL sucks big sweaty hairy orangutan balls. And I mean that in the pejorative.

I spent about an hour on the phone with tech support; got bounced around to four different people, none of whom could help me. The last person told me the problem does not reside with AOL, but rather with the ISPs of the people trying to email me. (This includes my own work address!)

He said if people are having trouble emailing me, they are supposed to call AOL to let them know. Can you believe that? I know you guys love me, but no one loves me enough to call and deal with AOL Tech Support just for the luxury of emailing me.

Meantime, if you want to email me, please use my work address if you know it, or post a comment on my blog. I seem to not have trouble sending email, just receiving.

Also, maybe it's time to give AOL the big heave-ho. Recommendations???

Major Media Outlet Seeks Graphic Designer

Dear CNN,

Thank you for giving prominence on your webpage to this recent development concerning gay marriage.

But, what the hell is this?

I mean, it looks like The Phantom Church is attacking the double wedding of two same-sex restroom sign couples by hurling springform pans at a watermelon flavored wedding cake.

Worst. Graphic. Ever.

Sincerely,

The Gays

I am Officially Old

This is not about being 31. This is about me being in pain because somehow I threw my back out yesterday. (No, boys, it wasn't like that.) Perhaps I was too enthusiastic in bhujungasana?

I mean, I'm mobile, not paralyzed, but I am kind of walking funny because I have this sharp pain on the lower right side of my spine. Argh. I guess it's all downhill from here. Just put me in the home now.

The beach was fun! A tad windier than usual and maybe not quite hot enough to be ideal, but a great day nonetheless. The ocean was calm and "warm" enough (that's a very relative term, but I'm from Oregon, where you need fur and blubber to survive in the water) to go swimming. It was extremely refreshing.

There was a bit of what I will call a Middle Earth problem yesterday, though. And that would be that the beach was crawling with all manner of orcs and trolls. Not your ordinary trolls, however, no, not the ones that turn into stone at the first sign of daylight. No, these were big, scary, hairy Mordor trolls who can walk abroad under the open sun.

I'm Not Dead, Just Bored

God, remember when I used to write four posts a day?

I'm still here, just for the past couple of days I haven't wanted to say anything. (Fine, fine, go ahead and dig through my archives and find that post I wrote making fun of the people who blogged, "I can't think of anything to say.")

Here's pretty much everything that's been on my mind lately:

Sandra Day, now that you're leaving, I just have one thing I've always wanted to say: I hate your dickey.

I'm going to the beach tomorrow. Here's hoping I find some inspiration.

What Kind of Cream Are You?

Yay, Canada! Viva Espana!

In the wake of the recent legislative victories in Spain and our northern neighbor (unless you live in Detroit, in which case part of Canada is south of you -- fun fact for the day!) I decided to check out one of my favorite websites, that of the American Family Association, to see what brilliant insights they had into these recent developments.

I needed to look no further than their "Homosexual Agenda" menu to find a compelling article by America's favorite former homosexual, Stephen Bennett.

Have you ever wondered what, really, is the difference between heterosexuals and gay people? Bennett sums it up for you with this most astute of analogies:

At the end of my speech, I held in one hand a coffee creamer from our dinner table. I read the simple wording on the label to the attentive audience: “100% REAL CREAM – ALL NATURAL.” That is all the label said.

In my other hand, I held another coffee creamer. Yet this one was very different.

It was a sealed paper packet that had a drawing of a farm, sitting on rolling hills. The sun was setting in the background, the picture very beautiful and peaceful. I read the label to the audience:

“Wholesome Farms – NON-DAIRY CREAMER. Ingredients: Corn Syrup Solids, Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and/or Canola Oils, Sodium Caseinate (A Milk Derivative), Dipotassium Phosphate, Mono and Diglyceerides, Artificial Colors, Silicon Dioxide, Lechtin, Artificial Flavors.”

You see, one coffee creamer was “REAL” – and the other was “ARTIFICIAL.”

I said, “As a former homosexual, I stand here before you today and say to you first hand, THIS is the difference between the God ordained institution of marriage between one man and one woman – and so-called homosexual “marriage.”

I stand in awe of the profundity.

Scary Scalia

So I read Antonin Scalia's dissent in McCreary County v. ACLU, the Supreme Court case about the Ten Commandments display in a Kentucky courthouse.

It's an issue of concern only to radical fundamentalists, both those who maintain the Commandments form the basis of American law and those who think religion is a contagious virus, transmitted by reading, which renders the victim unable to think for himself. Neither group is particularly well-informed or rational.

Here is Scalia's description of the display in question:

"Entitled "The Foundations of American Law and Government Display," each display consisted of nine equally sized documents: the original version of the Magna Carta, the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, the Star Spangled Banner, the Mayflower Compact of 1620, a picture of Lady Justice, the National Motto of the United States ("In God We Trust"), the Preamble to the Kentucky Constitution, and the Ten Commandments. The displays did not emphasize any of the nine documents in any way: The frame holding the Ten Commandments was of the same size and had the same appearance as that which held each of the other documents."

Only a truly paranoid person would worry that this constitutes an outright government endorsement of religion. But that's not the scary part. What is frightening is that Scalia accepts Kentucky's defense and premise that the Commandments do, in fact, form the foundation of American law. He quotes the text of the display:

"The Ten Commandments have profoundly influenced the formation of Western legal thought and the formation of our country. That influence is clearly seen in the Declaration of Independence, which declared that, 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.' The Ten Commandments provide the moral background of the Declaration of Independence and the foundation of our legal tradition."

As I pointed out in a recent post, there are only four commandments that could be said to be in common with American law, and none of them are unique to either Christianity or America. To me, of far more significance is not what the Commandments have in common with the Constitution, but how they differ. For example, Commandment #1 is, "I am the Lord your God; Thou shalt have no other Gods before Me." This is reflected in American law where, now? How about #2, the ban on idols and graven images?

And, Earth to Scalia, none of the Commandments are found in the quote from the Declaration. The Commandments do not speak of unalienable rights. A "right" is not a "commandment." A "commandment" is something you are required to do, not a God-given freedom.

Scalia thinks that the mere presence of the word "Creator" in the Declaration, and "God" in the Constitution, is sufficient proof that our laws derive from the Founders' undeniable Christian heritage. As proof, by reason of contrast, he quotes the French Constitution. Sort of.

He relates an anecdote -- which conveniently works in a 9/11 reference -- about a judge from an unnamed European country who laments, "How I wish that the Head of State of my country, at a similar time of national tragedy and distress, could conclude his address 'God bless ______.' It is of course absolutely forbidden."

Scalia writes, "That is one model of the relationship between church and state--a model spread across Europe by the armies of Napoleon, and reflected in the Constitution of France, which begins "France is [a] . . . secular . . . Republic."

If I were to ask you, "How does Shakespeare's play Richard III begin?," would you answer, "Set down, set down your honorable load"?

No. Because that's first line of scene 2. Everyone knows it starts, "Now is the winter of our discontent/Made glorious summer by this sun of York."

So how does France's Constitution begin?

"The French people hereby solemnly proclaim their dedication to the Rights of Man and the principle of national sovereignty as defined by the Declaration of 1789, reaffirmed and complemented by the Preamble to the 1946 Constitution."

Scalia's excerpt is actually the first line of Article II. And it, in fact, reads "France is an indivisible, secular, democratic, and social Republic. It ensures the equality of all citizens before the law, without distinction as to origin, race, or religion. It respects all beliefs."

Read that last sentence again. "It respects all beliefs." That is, in fact, a more explicit endorsement of religious tolerance than can be found in our own Constitution. Conveniently leaving that part out and using the surgically redacted "France is [a] . . . secular . . . Republic" -- not to mention claiming the constitution "begins" with this phrase -- sure makes France sound like a bunch of God-haters, doesn't it?

I mean, you might as well say Hamlet opens with the line, "To be...is the question."

Look, here's my question: if the Ten Commandments were such an essential foundation of our national legal system, why didn't the founding fathers mention them ANYWHERE? If our national values were derived from the Christian tradition, why is there no reference anywhere to Jesus? Why not a single quote from the Bible in any of our national documents? Did the founders go around erecting monuments with Bible verses on them? Ummm...no.

Scalia tries to argue that the Ten Commandments are not an endorsement of a specific religion because "the Ten Commandments are recognized by Judaism, Christianity, and Islam alike as divinely given."

Look, find me a Muslim who supports having this version of the Ten Commandments posted inside an American courthouse, and I will STFU.

Meanwhile, let's bow our heads and pray that a judge willing to engage in cut and paste intellectual dishonesty does not, by the Grace of God, become Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court.

Thank You for Not Beating Around The Bush

After work last night I stopped in at one of my favorite bars to kill some time before I met up with some friends.

As I looked around the room, I thought, "My...there's an unusually high concentration of guys that appeal to me in here, hmm..."

There was a group of 20-30 somethings, good-looking, nicely dressed, very all-American type, very "next door," you know and I was sort of looking them over. One of them looked over, broke away and approached.

"Hi, are you here for the Log Cabin event?"

Sigh. So close. And yet...sooooooo far.

Karl Rove, Homophobe

It occurred to me that the real reason that Rove's comments about liberals and their reaction to 9/11 was offensive was that the subtext was that the "manly" response would be to go kick some ass, and that being compassionate is "gay."

When Rove says "Liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers," he's using the same brand of conservative code for "gay" that Cheney used almost a year ago when he criticized John Kerry's call for a more "sensitive" war.

Pandering to the Base

base (bās) adj. bas·er, bas·est

Not adhering to ethical or moral principles; "base and unpatriotic motives"; "a base, degrading way of life"; having or showing an ignoble lack of honor or morality; "that liberal obedience without which your army would be a base rabble"- Edmund Burke; "something essentially vulgar and meanspirited in politics"; illegitimate.

Karl Rove made an appearance in Manhattan last night at a fundraiser for the Conservative Party of New York. He had a couple of interesting thoughts he wanted to share.

"Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers," he said.

What an amazingly contorted view of recent history Mr. Rove possesses.

Also, for someone who is a self-described Christian (alas, he's Episcopalian, my own affiliation) and has spent tremendous amounts of time, effort and money energizing Christian conservatives, he's got some very questionable theology.

I've brought up this Scriptural passage before, but allow me to point it out one more time:

"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also; and if any one would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well; and if any one forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles." (Matthew 5:38-41 )

I can't recall hearing a single conservative Christian inviting us to turn the other cheek, as Christ commands. In fact, Rove seems to be accusing Liberals of reaching out in exactly the way God would have us act. Funny, then, that so many in the GOP think of themselves as God's party, even going so far in some cases as to claim it's a sin to vote Democrat.

"I don't know about you, but moderation and restraint is not what I felt when I watched the twin towers crumble to the ground, a side of the Pentagon destroyed, and almost 3,000 of our fellow citizens perish in flames and rubble," added Rove.

Well, I was actually in Manhattan that day, and I remember exactly how I felt. (Granted, I was thankfully many blocks north of the tragedy; presently I work about a 10-minute walk from the WTC site.) I had a nauseating, dizzy emptiness radiating out from the pit of my stomach. Manhattan was absolutely silent that morning, except for the sound of sirens. No one spoke, except with their eyes. It wasn't a question of feeling restraint; it was being too stunned, too grief-stricken to do anything at all except stare southward at the billowing black cloud that stretched its way toward Brooklyn. There was also a numbing terror, as I wondered, "Is it over? Is there more?"

I also remember that President Bush sat on his ass and read that goat book. Then he hopped on Air Force One and fled.

I don't want to criticize anyone's gut reactions to such a horrific event. Anger and rage are certainly valid responses; there is no justification for the slaughter of thousands of innocent people.

But politics is not about gut reactions. Government shouldn't be run on the basis of gut reactions. For those who think the American government should operate more from a Christian perspective, I might offer this passage:

Let your moderation be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, will keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:5-9)

There's more in the passage above than what's directly relevant to this post, but it's one of my favorites so I just wanted to share it.

Rove concluded his address by saying, "No more needs to be said about the motives of liberals."

Indulge me for one moment while I throw out one more passage from Scripture: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. (Exodus 20:16)

Let's have a quick historical re-cap: the attacks of September 11, 2001, were carried out by al Qaeda, which was operating out of Afghanistan with the support of its Taliban government.

Three days after the terrorist attacks, the Senate voted 98-0 and the House voted 420-1 for a resolution authorizing Bush to use ''all necessary and appropriate force'' against those responsible for the terrorism.

Happy Summer Solstice!

There is no believing in God. You either know God, or you do not.

Iranian Proverb

Where's Batman When You Need Him???

I just saw Batman Begins.

This is all I have to say.

All the Grapes You Can Eat

Why are so many Christians under the impression that the Constitution and U.S. law have some Biblical basis? As I pointed out in the comments section of another blog recently, some politicians' understanding of the foundations of the American legal system seems to run something like this: murder is illegal; murder is forbidden by the Bible; therefore, American law is Bible-based. (As if there is a country in the world in which murder is legal or a religion which permits murder; true, different cultures have different understandings of what constitutes murder, but whatever they call "murder" is always forbidden.)

Recently we've heard a lot of talk about The Ten Commandments, specifically about monuments on public or government property. Ironically, many of the monuments in question were placed there in the 1950s as part of a marketing strategy for the Cecil B. DeMille extravaganza The Ten Commandments, despite Hollywood being one of the Christian right's favorite whipping boys and despite the fact that Charlton "My Cold Dead Hands" Heston as Moses goes around reciting a lot of pretty liberal claptrap on the nature of slavery ("God made men; man made slaves," etc.) that is a far cry from the words of the Biblical Moses ("When a man strikes his slave, male or female, with a rod and the slave dies under his hand, he shall be punished. But if the slave survives a day or two, he is not to be punished; for the slave is his money.")

As I read the Ten Commandments, I see only four in common with American law: Thou shalt not kill; Thou shalt not commit adultery; Thou shalt not steal; Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. But these laws are unique to neither Christianity nor America.

Yet some politicians and religious figures persist in maintaining that American law has a Judeo-Christian basis that reflects Biblical law. That link is made most often when people talk about gay marriage. There is no rational basis for discriminating against gay people, only religious prejudice. But because so many people operate under the false assumption that American law is Bible-based, they feel it's sufficient to point to Leviticus and that ought to be the end of the discussion.

Despite their protests that Biblical law and American law are interchangeable, and that all things Biblical and Christian are good, and that everything in the Bible is still currently valid, relevant and enforceable, and that everything in the Bible is literally true, conservative Christians only agitate for Bible-based legislation that doesn't inconvenience them and allows them to legitimize cultural prejudices.

For example, cotton-polyester blends are forbidden. Women having their periods are unclean and cannot be touched for seven days. All debts must be canceled every seven years. (That would certainly solve Bush's budget problem!) It is forbidden to send a man to war within one year of his wedding. It is forbidden to yoke an ox and a donkey together. (Someone please explain that one to me.) Pork chops are an abomination. Let's not forget Deuteronomy 23:24.

None of this is reflected anywhere in American law, or even in the lifestyles of most conservative Christians. I'd like to see someone push legislation to enforce the requirements set forth in Leviticus for dealing with mildew.

Actually, what I'd really like to see is conservative Christians acknowledging that they are selective about Biblical truths and requirements, just like everyone else, and that American law does not have to have a religious basis to be valid and moral and that secular or non-Christian ideas are not necessarily bad or amoral or even different from Christian ethics.

A Must-Read

I couldn't have said it better myself, though I've tried many times.

This Op-Ed in today's New York Times absolutely encapsulates my views on religion and politics. It's an outstanding piece written by former Republican Senator John C. Danforth of Missouri. (Yes, I am in agreement with a Republican! And you will be, too.)

Don't miss this.

Thirty-One

gemini horoscope

Your Birthday Horoscope, Andrew! A romantic escapade seems tempting, so why not indulge? Focusing on the side of pleasure today may be a way to reward yourself for a recent job well done.*

I'm accepting invitations for romantic escapades below.

* I guess they're referring to that desk business.

31 Years Ago Tomorrow...

I think I was a yogi in a former life. How else to explain being in a perfect baddha konasana just days after birth?

More Fun with Furniture

Today a desk for one of the new offices was delivered.

Well, half of it, anyway.

Apparently I only ordered the left half.

Actually, I blame Staples for this. Why the fuck would anyone want half a desk? Why is that even an ordering option? Why didn't they tell me over the phone, "You realize you're only ordering the left half, don't you want the whole thing?"

To eliminate confusion in the future, I suggest that they revise their catalogue to show the desk in two separate halves in the photograph with big red text that says RIGHT AND LEFT HALVES SOLD SEPARATELY BECAUSE WE SUCK.

Worker's (in)Comp(etence)

We've created a couple of new positions where I work, so I've ordered some additional office furniture. The chairs arrived today, and I had to put them together. On one of them, I had four screws left over.

Shhh.

Where's an Activist Judge When You Need One?

This might come as something of a shock to some people, but I think the Michael Jackson jury got it right.

Let me be the first to admit I didn't follow the details of this case. And I think Jackson probably did all or most of the things he was accused of. However, I'm not convinced that in his mind he actually understands that what he did was wrong.

I think he's a profoundly unbalanced person, with deep, deep psychological issues, and I really pity him. My guess, if I may be allowed a moment of amateur analysis, is that showbusiness pushed him into an adult world with adult issues long before he was ready for it, and he never really got to be a child. Now he's trying to recapture for himself the childhood he always wanted, and he wants to surround himself with children. I think he truly enjoys their company, loves them deeply, and enjoys being in a position to help them.

That's all well and good, but somewhere in his mind his desire to be like a child himself runs up against his adult physical needs, and the distinction between what is appropriate behavior and what is not was totally lost.

Packing him off to prison might indeed prevent him from having inappropriate access to minors, but it certainly isn't going to help him. (Of course, I'm not suggesting we send criminals to jail for their own benefit.) But honestly...as much as we despise what he's done, can you picture Michael Jackson in jail?

The jury did him an enormous favor, one he didn't really deserve. If he is not able to seize this incredible opportunity to make changes in his life, then his so-called friends need to step in and do a major intervention. Liz, Liza, Jay and others: you need to make it clear to him, no children at his house ever again. Period. Let's not go through this again.

[I do want to be clear: I don't think the jury was convinced he was guilty but rendered a not guilty verdict anyway. The evidence was insufficient and the witnesses had, shall we say, credibility issues. Hurray for a jury that actually upheld a reasonable standard of a burden of proof, unlike the Laci jury which only seconded the verdict Fox News had already reached.]

Likewise, any parent who allows their children near this guy without supervision deserves to be charged with reckless endangerment. The mother in this particular instance should probably go to jail. At the very least, she whored her children out to a media circus in the hopes of making a buck -- and potentially, she knowingly exposed them to physical abuse for the same reason.

Now that that's over with, is there any the media will start covering actual news?

Shameless Plug

My wonderful friend Scott, whom I've known for like 16 years, has co-authored a book coming out soon! Not exactly beach-reading, unless you're a hardcore Geek.

Audience Review

This afternoon I went to see my dear friend make her Carnegie Hall debut as the mezzo soloist in Mozart's Requiem.

As it was 90 degrees and a bezillion percent humidity, decided to risk wearing shorts and sandals to the concert; I did wonder if perhaps there was a dress code for the dress circle. As it happened, had I worn cut-offs and a tank-top and brought a can of Bud with me, I would have fit right in.

It was the New England Symphonic Ensemble and an entire gaggle of guest choirs from all over Red America, with the audience consisting of several busloads of uncouth relatives. But first, the music...

The unnecessarily long afternoon (it dragged on for a full three hours, and the Requiem was last -- this is how much I love you, honey) opened with American Journey by Jackson Berkey, a piece designed to "show America's history in six diverse movements." The music was just a hair more complex than the score of Red, White and Blaine, but without the sincerity and clever lyrics. There is a long and honorable tradition of working folk melodies into serious music; however, in my opinion, there are many miles between Brahms' "Zigeunerlieder" and "Camptown Races." "Skip to my Lou" is not a piece I needed to hear orchestrated. Ever. The orchestral and choral voicing was so consonant it could only barely be considered polyphony. To be fair, the arrangement of "Amazing Grace" was inspired and original, and deserves a concert future above and apart from the rest of the work.

The second of the three halves [sic] consisted of Robert Paul Baker's Requiem of Psalms, which accomplished the singular feat of taking Christianity's most sacred texts and setting them in a way which utterly drained them of any meaning whatsoever. The composer obviously views blandness as a virtue, as if John Tesh were exploring the frontiers of western music. The baritone soloist possessed a heroic, ringing healthy voice of impressive range and vibrant color. I did not understand a single word.

I did not realize how much I hated the first two pieces until the Mozart began. I mean, I knew I disliked them intensely, but the contrast was astounding, as if I'd been invited to a dinner party where the cocktail hour consisted of diet Pepsi and defrosted wiener wraps and the main course was chateau briand and Veuve Clicquot. Hearing the Dies Irae makes you begin to wonder if that text had not been pre-ordained to be set to that exact music at some point during the six days of Creation, the fit is so miraculous. Mozart makes you tremble before a God of immense and terrifying power, whereas the same movement in the Baker work gave the impression that God's most devastating weapon is ennui.

The soloists were more than competent; the baritone did not quite possess the power of the lower range necessary to really nail the opening bars of the "Tuba mirum," but that's me being picky. The soprano sang as if her vocal cords were located somewhere just south of her gall bladder. The tenor had singer hair. Bias aside, the mezzo soloist looked and sounded ravishing, confident and fully involved in what she was doing. The 50 minutes of the Requiem passed many times faster than either of the preceding pieces, which were about half as long.

Now the gloves come off.

I stopped in the mens' room before the concert began, and noticed I could smell my own cologne, which is a bad sign. (As it was super hot today, I over-spritzed, I guess.) I hoped that I did not end up sitting next to someone with a sensitive nose. I worried about this because, you see, I am a sensitive, thoughtful audience member, who is aware of those around him trying to enjoy the performance.

I sat next to a woman who was so completely doused in perfume that I sneezed twice before the lights went down; she had an intensely floral, powdery aroma. In fact, I think it might have been Glade. She was also carrying an enormous bouquet, which I assumed she intended to give to one of the performers after the concert. I had never seen such large blue flowers before, so I gave them a closer look: they were silk. I had the following vision:

A double-wide trailer, somewhere in Tornado Alley, Nebraska. The year is 2041. A woman gestures toward the bouquet on the vanity. "Now, thum thar, that's the BOO-kay that my mama done give me when I sanged at CarNaygee Hall in New York City back in 2005."

I will say this much for her: at least she came on time, unlike about 60% of the rest of the audience. I can only surmise that by arriving 20 minutes late they had hoped to miss the previews.

The gentleman in front of me had to be told by the usher three times that photography is forbidden in the hall. "Even when they ain't nobody singin' nothin?" he said, the third time he was reprimanded.

At one of the intermissions, a twenty-something girl in pigtails ran to the front of the balcony and yelled out, "Yoo-hoo! Ellie Mae! Up here! Yoo-hoo! Heya, Ellie Mae!" She pronounced "here" with two syllables: "hee-urr." She really did say "yoo-hoo." Then: "Shoot! Why idn't she wavin' back? I guess mebbe she cain't hee-urr me." That, or perhaps Ellie Mae has a sense of decorum.

A cell-phone rang during the first piece. No one answered. It rang until it stopped. It rang again at the start of the second piece. Again, it rang until it went to voicemail or they hung up. A few minutes later, it rang again. An usher came looking for the source. It was the woman at the end of my row. She was unaware that it was her phone. She claimed she didn't know how to turn it off. Then...she answered it. "Ma'am, I have to ask you to leave," said the usher. "Just a minute, I'm on the phone," the woman said.

Sadly, I am not inventing this.

Aside from the talking, the lateness, the cell phones, the flash photography, the crinkly wrappers, the people shuffling through plastic bags looking for god-knows-what and two stultifyingly dreadful pieces, it was a horrific afternoon. Doesn't anybody have any class at all anymore?

GWM, 30, Seeks Stadium Supporter

Everyone I know is practically dancing in the streets now that the proposed west side stadium is dead. Yet the tabloids are abuzz with editorials criticizing Albany for thwarting the "needs" of the city. Is there anyone out there from Manhattan who wanted this thing?

White? Yes. Christian? Yes. Republican? Not so much...

I never thought I'd say this, but: Howard Dean, shut up!

I admire his passion for his new post, but the big reason I supported him is that during the primaries he had the courage and conviction to say what many of us were thinking, while the rest of the Democrats covered up their cowardice with faux-bipartisan rhetoric. It was his blunt honesty and feather-ruffling that attracted so many of us to him. As the old Washington saying goes, "a gaffe is when someone tells the truth."

And so it used to be with Howard YEEEEEAAAAAARRRRRGGGH Dean, and I loved every minute of it. But now he, too, has descended into the ugly realm of divisive partisan name-calling.

In what possible context is describing the GOP as "pretty much a white, Christian party" a constructive tactic? Are there valid points to be made hidden within that smear? Yes. And there are far better ways to address them. His language was so clumsy and his brushstroke so broad that his Republican counterpart Ken Mehlman was able to snarkily respond, "a lot of folks who attended my Bar Mitzvah would be surprised" to hear that he heads a "Christian" party.

The Bush administration and the Republican Party are so corrupt, so vulgar, cruel, mendacious, arrogant...well, you get the idea...and there are so many facts we can use to point out their criminality, that we hardly need to resort to making ugly generalizations based on stereotypes.

Worried about the way the Christian Right is co-opting the political process? Fine. But don't accuse the GOP of being the Christian party; it's rhetoric that just plays right into the hands of Fundamentalist nutjobs and their sycophants like Bill Frist, and it perpetuates the dangerous myth that Christianity is a monolithic and conservative group.

What we should be talking about -- in measured, objective tones -- is the way the radical ideology of a narrow segment of the population is having an undue influence on national policy. There is something wrong with senators participating in the "Filibuster Against Faith" telethon; there is something wrong with legislation being signed in the gymnasium of an evangelical Christian school. There is something wrong with a President who favors ideology over science.

How do you accuse the party of Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice of being "white"?

Howard Dean, who used to speak fluidly and eloquently on issues of race, has now lost his moorings. It's not that the Republican party only has white people; it's that the GOP pursues policies which adversely affect the lower economic strata of our society, which are disproportionately non-white. Talk to people in real terms about wages and the cost of living and the cost of healthcare and higher education, and ask if the Republicans have a plan to address these issues or if they're simply exacerbating the problems.

The issues on which we can legitimately attack Bush and Friends are endless: Social Security, healthcare, homeland security, tax cuts, North Korea, Iraq, etc., etc., etc. Dean would do far better to stick to real issues and tone down the empty rhetoric. I know he can do it.

This is the pic I tried to embed in the post about Switzerland below...don't know why it didn't appear. Looking north up the Limmat River through downtown Zurich. En guete! 

Hot Thoughts from New York

Phhhhewwww, pass the air conditioning, summer's here. And so are the tourists. On my way to lunch just now, I passed a guy with a video camera who was walking backwards up Water Street. Obviously unable to see where he was going, he turned around and ran right into a suited-up Wall Street type.

"Hey, watch it, asshole," said the suit. Why do I suspect that will be the highlight of the video?

Well, whodathunkit, but common sense prevailed in Albany yesterday: the proposed west-side stadium for the Jets is as good as dead, and with it the 2012 Olympics.

I am not opposed to the idea of having a stadium on the west side. I am opposed to spending 600 million taxpayer dollars to construct a stadium without plans for improved traffic flow, parking and public transportation for a consumer base that lives largely outside of the city. I am opposed to the cash-strapped MTA (the agency that runs buses and subways in NYC) selling the property to the Jets for less than half of its appraised value.

In response, Mayor Bloomberg chastised Speaker Silver and Senate Leader Bruno and said those who opposed the stadium would have to explain why they were against jobs and economic growth. Bloomberg, I gave you more credit than that. Opposing a completely unnecessary and potentially disastrous venture to be paid for by people with many other urgent priorities is not being against economic growth and jobs, it's being responsible. I still want to see the far west side developed; we can create jobs and housing and make great use of that area.

And I, for one, am delighted that the Olympics won't be coming to Manhattan. What a mess that would be.

Outside of New York, a judge in Washington State pulled the plug on the trial accusing Governor Gregoire and the Democratic party of rigging the election using illegal votes. Turns out the only illegal votes the Republican challenger could prove were cast were for him. Seriously.

Back in New York, I went to a take-out Chinese restaurant for lunch today for cold sesame noodles. (Mmmm.) I asked for chopsticks. "We no carry," was the response. What the hell?

Hoi, tsäme!

A big "Gruezi!" shout-out and thank-you to my peeps in Switzerland, after voters approved a measure extending the same tax and pension status as married heterosexuals to registered same-sex couples. It's not "marriage," but it's a heckuvalot closer than what we've got here.

Switzerland is a weird place. I lived in Zürich for eleven months. In many ways, it's conservative beyond Red-America's wildest dreams. Switzerland is closed on Sunday. No, really, I mean that. In fact, it closes at 4:00 on Saturdays. Some things are rather fascist: my building management left a note on my door to say that someone had complained that I had laundry hanging up to dry in my apartment that was visible from my window on a Sunday.

The Swiss also tend to be humorless and dull. I think this is part of their Calvinist heritage, the idea that if you're having fun you must be sinning. Laughing takes valuable time away from making money. They also have some issues with xenophobia. Some Swiss aren't even nice to people from the next town. And truly, once I saw a woman vacuuming her driveway.

Despite their conservative demeanor and traditional customs, socially they are a lot more progressive than conservative Americans, probably because Swiss conservatives actually read the Bible, instead of waving it around as either a fundraising tool, a weapon or the 2005 edition of Government for Dummies. (If Republicans were serious about enforcing the Ten Commandments, we'd have Superbowl Saturdays instead.)

So hurray for the Swiss, for passing this legislation. It's great not just because gays and lesbians now enjoy rights there that are denied here in the U.S., but because a majority of voters approved it and no one can cry, "Activist judges!" Given how reserved and circumspect the Swiss are, it just goes to show how behind we are. Come on, America, catch up.

Hot Priest: Here I am made up for my role as a Vatican cardinal in Philip Glass' opera Galileo Galilei. I'd do me. 

A Neighborhood Wish List

I have lived in Washington Heights now for eleven years, and I've seen a lot of changes, mostly for the better. Here are some things I think still need some work:

The Monkey Room: we love you! I don't know where you get your bagels from, but they are awful. Please, it's Manhattan. To borrow a phrase from Howard Dean, "We can do better." Also, please keep serving coffee all day, even when you officially become a bar at 4:00 p.m. or whenever. Sometimes when I get home from work I want a coffee; Frank's is too weak and Starbucks is too far. Some evenings it would be wonderful to sit out on your patio with a big cappuccino. Please bring back gay Wednesdays. I promise I'll go more. More dancers, less Chablis St. Croix, or whatever the trannie-host's name was.

Associated Super Market: Now that you have those electronic scanners, there is simply no excuse for your inconsistent inventory other than managerial incompetence. Here are some items that you are frequently out of: sweet italian sausage tortellini, breaded chicken patties, Reduced Fat Wheat Thins. Also, how can you call yourself a grocery store if you have never once in eleven years had a frozen Sara Lee cheesecake for sale?!?!?!?!?!

On the subject of frozen pizzas, you need a lot of help. Is it any wonder that you always have Jeno's and Celeste in stock? It's crap. You've always got it because no one wants it. You have never carried Tombstone. You have never had Stouffer's French Bread pizzas. Sometimes you have DiGiorno in stock, but only the small size and usually only the cheese version. When you started carrying California Pizza Kitchen frozen pizzas, I nearly had a heart attack from joy. However, there are seven varieties available. Once I saw some Thai Chicken, a while back we had Five Cheese & Tomato, and often, to your credit, you have the famous BBQ Chicken. But you have not had a single CPK pizza in stock for three weeks now. For shame!

Don't get me started on your Ben & Jerry's supply. Oh, and your checkout counter girls wouldn't know customer service if it came up and bit them in the culo.

Speaking of customer service, Frank's: you're amazing, we love you, but the thugs who work your deli counter are incompetent and occasionally rude. Would it kill you to hire a butcher who knows what he's doing?

Trattoria Bleu/Monkey Room people: back when Monkey Room was Capo Verde, you guys made the bestest burritos ever. Please find a way to work take-out burritos back into the business.

For that matter, someone please get Washington Heights a mexican restaurant. Oh, and edible Chinese. Also, for the love of God, a NYSC, a decent newsstand, a laundromat that is open later than 7:30 and a video store that has more Joan Crawford movies than they do copies of Soul Plane. (Fort Washington Video has 4 Soul Planes and no Crawford.)

More A trains.

Cute, slightly overweight guy on said A train who smiles at me: just get a haircut and I might smile back.

God Helps Those Who Help Themselves...

...to the books in the library at work.

I am currently in the process of supervising a minor construction project at my job, in which we are subdividing what passes for our library/small conference room in order to create two new offices. One full bookcase that had to be emptied out in advance of the construction contained random, gay-related books on pretty much every conceivable subject that somehow we've collected over the years. No one really knows what's there and they're not really resources for us, so I am advocating having everyone just take what looks appealing to them and we shall recycle the rest.

There were a few books on the topic of religion and sexuality; I thought I would take those, since I honestly doubt anyone else there would be even remotely interested. I'm not sure these are any good, but here are the titles I brought home:

Gay Theology Without Apology

Is the Bible True?

The Culture of Disbelief: How American Law and Politics Trivialize Religious Devotion

The Man Jesus Loved

and

Queering Christ

The last title sounds absolutely awful, but if it's garbage I know where to put it. Some titles I decided I would leave behind for others included:

Sappho Was a Right-On Woman

Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them

True Stories of Homosexuals in College (because there were no pictures)

*Trivia: the popular maxim "God helps those who help themselves" is not found in the Bible.

I Still Hate the NY Post

Complaining that the front page of The New York Post is offensive is like complaining that dogshit smells. It's obvious, everybody knows it, and it's never going to change.

Thirty-eight people were killed in violence in Iraq yesterday. What's on the front page of the Post? Michael Jackson and the Runaway Bride.

What gets me most is not just that they willfully direct readers away from the important news of the day toward Bennifer or the latest Monical Lewinsky sighting, but that they vulgarly editorialize the headlines. The big, bold text under the photograph of Michael Jackson says, "Sweat, Freak."

I'm not going to defend Michael Jackson; I think he's obviously troubled. But labeling him a "freak" on the front page of a widely-read publication is cruel; plus it seems like they're rooting for a guilty verdict. That's just coarse and tacky.

To their credit, though, I have to confess that the crack newsteam at the Post did put to rest a question that had been keeping me awake for years now: does Saddam wear boxers or briefs?

Sucked into Oblivion

I count myself very fortunate that I live in a basically roach-free apartment. I see one maybe twice a year, which for New York City is pretty great.

Last night, however, I was most displeased to see, for the first time in the nine years I've lived in this apartment, one of those GIANT roaches in the bathroom, also known as "water bugs" or "palmetto bugs."

There is no rational reason why I should be afraid of one of these things, but they are terrifying. I thought about smashing it with a shoe, but I recalled trying that once before in my previous apartment: as I picked up my shoe, I swear the thing turned and charged me. When I finally did get up the courage to get close enough to thwack it, it took like four smacks before it stopped running. And then there was the mess...

Not wanting to try that again, I rolled over him with the vacuum cleaner.

Re-Inventing Myself as a Boring Person

I rode the subway home tonight with one of my co-workers from the new job who lives in my neighborhood. In the short time I've been there, we've developed a nice, easy working relationship, but at work there is never all that much time to talk and also, non-profit or not, it's still a business setting. Know what I mean?

Anyway, so we're walking to the train and he says, "So, tell me about yourself, where did you grow up, etc."

This was my response, word for word: "Well, I was born in Seattle, then we moved to California, then we moved to Denver, then in 1980 we moved to Oregon and I grew up there, I lived in Los Angeles for a year, and then I moved to New York, and here I am. Oh, well, I did live in Europe for a year."

I guess it's still just too difficult for me to talk about my former life as an aspiring opera singer. For one thing, it brings up depressing waves of nostalgia, and also because it didn't work out, it's a source of enormous embarrassment and shame for me. I feel like a flake. I don't even tell people that I lost my voice to acid reflux because I fear they'll conclude that's just how I comfort myself and can't admit that I didn't have what it takes in the first place. I mean, to be honest, that's probably what I would assume of someone with that story.

All that hard work, the years of sacrifice, the ambition, the dedication, the many great successes: it's been cut from my bio.

George Lucas' Misguided Liberal Propaganda

I think Jar Jar Binks set the gay rights movement back by at least three or four days.

My Most Profound Post Ever

I am unhappy with my anti-perspirant.

I have been using Right Guard Sport "Cool" Stick. I love the scent, but as an anti-perspirant, especially as the weather is getting warmer, it's really not cutting it at all.

Recommendations?

Remembrance

I thought I would observe Memorial Day by trying to remember last night.

I had a great time! I stayed out all night. Seriously! Left my apartment at like 9:15 and got home at 6 a.m. I haven't done something like that since...well, I honestly can't remember. Even back in the day when I was a little twink and I'd go to Limelight, Palladium and Tunnel, I usually left around midnight; my friends called me Cinderella. I just never enjoyed staying out very late.

I met my friends at XL, then we went to Park, got irritated with the long lines at the bar, went back to XL, got irritated with Jessye Normous and the long lines at the bar, went to Gym, got bored, went back to Park, stayed there until 4:00, then went to a diner for burgers and drama.

What was that about anyway?

Here are some random thoughts about last night, in no particular order:

Every atheist I meet went to Catholic school. Why is that?

Back-hair stubble: not okay.

Adult-baby/diaper fetish: I don't care how cute you are, that's a deal breaker. I'm sorry if that makes me judgmental.

Chicken soup, banana creme pie and diet Coke. At 4 a.m.?

I guess that guy thought that by fondling my butt in line at the bar that I wouldn't mind when he cut in front of me.

Best back-rub I've ever gotten in a bar. Hands down.

Is it "Park" or "The Park"? I know someone is particular on this subject, but I heard people saying both. I have to know so that when I talk about this night later in German I can use the correct form of the article.

Zum Beispiel: Ich habe sehr Park genossen. Ich habe sehr den Park genossen.

Maybe This is the Answer

First off, I want to thank both Rob and Paul for their wonderful comments below. They are some of the very best, most sincere and intelligent and provocative comments I have ever had. Thanks, both, for reading...I hope you'll stay tuned.

I have just finished literally two full hours of rather punishing yoga, so I feel unusually enlightened right at the moment. As I was reading Paul's comment, an idea popped into my head.

I think God is a lot smarter than the fundamentalists give Him credit for.

One of the great things about God is that you can't fool Him. He knows exactly what is in your mind and in your heart.

Where lies sin? I think it's in the intention, not in the doing.

So here's the thing: are scientists trying to kill human embryos? Is that their intention? Is there any malice in their hearts as they harvest these cells for research? Or are they using their God-given talents to do something that they believe will ultimately have a great benefit for mankind? Are they wounding and torturing blastocysts, or relieving widespread human suffering?

This is exactly the same dilemma with Terri Schiavo. The fundamentalists accused the "activist liberal judiciary" of "murdering" her. But was that their intention? Is there really a "liberal" movement to destroy disabled people, as some blatantly argued? No. No one wanted Terri dead; many saw it as an act of compassion. Can God -- does God -- hold you accountable for an act of compassion if it is misguided?

Thinking About Stem Cells

I am so tired of President Bush. He drives me insane. All through last year's campaign we heard nothing from him but how consistent he is and what a flip-flopper Kerry is, how Bush has the strength of his convictions, blah blah blah.

Does Bush have any idea what it means to sit down and think something through? Does he understand what consistency means?

Here is a recent brilliant piece by William Saletan on Slate comparing recent statements by Bush on stem cell research and on the death penalty.

His belief that the death penalty deters crime just shows that he hasn't seen any research at all on that issue. (I know, I write like I'm assuming facts ever trump ideology for this guy.)

Really look at what Bush says about the death penalty. He doesn't say criminals should die because they deserve it, he says they should die because it saves the lives of others. Contrast that with what he says about stem cells -- that life should never be abused or destroyed for the sake of others -- and you have to wonder just what is wrong with this man's brain that he can't detect his own inconsistency?

And why don't his supporters hear it? Are they all this stupid?

Perhaps it's something that could be cured with stem cell therapy.

I confess I have not fully thought out the potential implications and ramifications of stem cell research. I'm still pondering it. Which is an okay place to be, I think. But here's what else I think:

Yes, stem cells are harvested from human embryos. Okay, that's a little discomforting. But we're talking tiny little blastocysts here. There is "life" in that little clump of cells. But is it really alive, and what does being alive mean?

This little clump of biological matter -- made up, as it is, from human DNA -- is not a human being. It is certainly not a conscious organism. It's not going to suffer. And harvesting these cells, which couldn't possibly cause pain, has the potential to relieve suffering for millions of human beings.

But the fundies come out screaming, "All life is sacred!" Well...okay, but the flu virus is alive. The bacteria that cause strep throat are alive. Cancer cells are alive. I mean, if "all life is sacred," then why must we strive to protect a microscopic clump of cells and yet find no sin in killing a chicken, which is at least a sentient being? (Sentient being? I guess I could have picked a better example than a chicken.)

Does the fact that these little cells are made from human DNA make that big a difference? (If your answer is, "Yes!," then...okay.)

I guess I just don't understand -- at least, not yet -- what's so wrong about taking senseless, identity-less cells and doing something with them that could be so helpful to so many people; I especially don't understand when ideologues rush to the defense of non-beings and yet somehow manage to justify war and the death penalty.

You Go, Girl!

Texas Representative Senfronia Thompson addresses the state legislature and tears it a new one. She's my kind of Christian! Really, this is a must read.

Liberal-Evangelical Alliance?

Something has happened. Something rare. Something wonderful, bordering on the miraculous.

David Brooks wrote a coherent, interesting column today.

My only quibble is that he still seems locked in the belief that evangelical Christians and progressive liberals are mutually exclusive groups. It's not necessarily that liberals and conservatives are working together -- although in many instances, that is no doubt exactly what is happening -- but I would wager that the progressive evangelical base is larger than most people suspect. Also, not all social conservatives are anti-tax zealots losing sleep over gay marriage.

While it's true that most self-identified evangelicals say they support President Bush, let us remember that the President we got is not the President he promised he'd be. His actions haven't matched his rhetoric. (Remember when he decried nation-building? And why is it that multilateral diplomacy was "useless" with Iraq but the only option for North Korea?) While abortion and gay issues are still the hot-buttons for many evangelicals, a lot of conservatives are deeply worried about the nation's financial health, the way the war has been prosecuted, the shifting rationales for the war as well as the ill-defined and elusive ultimate goals, the environment, health care and poverty. Additionally, academic research conducted just prior to the 2004 election showed that most self-described Bush supporters had fundamental misunderstandings of the President's actual positions on issues such has nuclear weapon and landmine treaties, the environment and social security.

Doubtless, our government is infested with power-hungry ideologues who want to impose their morality on the rest of us. But it shouldn't really be a surprise that social conservatives are concerned about poverty.

Gossip

Got an email from a colleague at my last temp job.

The woman they hired to replace me got fired.

Concert Review: Music For Life, Benefiting GMHC

I’m delighted that changing careers from the music business to civil rights work – okay, I’m the office manager, I know – hasn’t meant I no longer get free tickets to great performances. Special thanks to GMHC, not only for all the great work they do, but for the free tickets they provided to employees of similar organizations. Not only was my ticket free, I was in the 5th row center orchestra on the aisle, across from two of the evening’s award recipients. I’m glad I wore my jacket!

I ended up sitting next to a real New York character, an older gentleman in a rumpled suit with wild, unkempt salt and pepper hair sticking out in every direction from underneath a Yankees’ cap. I guess he was really enjoying the performance, as he quite literally bounced in his seat through the opening number, the overture from Rossini’s Semiramide, which he managed to pronounce in a way that rhymed with “comedy.” Maestro Joseph Colaneri gave a vigorous reading to this pet favorite of mine, but Avery Fisher Hall’s famously muddy acoustics dulled the effect somewhat.

Rising star Jossie Perez, an unfairly attractive young lady with a warm, creamy mezzo, started off the evening with a rousing rendition of the Habañera from Carmen; it’s exceptionally difficult to put your own mark on a piece that’s so familiar, but Perez brought original colors to several places in the text. One complaint: her embouchure is so visibly tight that it’s quite distracting. Honey: your voice is completely aligned, and the Habañera isn’t exactly hard. Relax and just let your voice go, it will sound even better! You don’t need to focus the tone so much.

The evening’s host was the traumatic soprano Vera Galupe-Borszkh, who did a wonderful job introducing each artist and giving just enough background on the music being performed, managing to tastefully balance respect for the great masterpieces on parade while affectionately poking fun at the whole affair. For example, before Aprile Millo graced us with a fantastic “L’altra notte” from Boïto’s Mefistofele, Madame Vera set the scene for us of the poor, deranged heroine huddling in her cold prison cell, and managed to get off a hilarious joke about “frozen Margherita.”

Angela Brown is not a rising star. She is a comet. May she burn brightly for many years to come. I’m delighted to say that the recent ecstatic reviews of her unheralded Met debut were not exaggerations: she is the real deal. Not only does she have the voice – and boy, does she – she has the radiance, presence and personality to go with it. She made the great “Pace, pace” from Verdi’s La Forza del Destino seem positively easy. Whereas most sopranos gasp in desperation for the final climactic B-flat on “Maledizione!,” where they seem to be cursing the composer, Brown reveled in the chance to show her glorious, blooming and powerful top. (And at the risk of sounding like a complete queen, her silk brocade stole was gorgeous!)

The evenings honorees were Judith and Samuel Peabody and Stan Herman; the speeches and tributes were elegant and moving, and it was clear these awards were well-deserved and long overdue. Bravo to them all.

Musically, the second half of the program opened with a choral arrangement of “Nessun dorma” from Puccini’s Turandot for the New York City Gay Men’s Chorus, that went off better than I expected.

Maureen O’Flynn, a soprano I first heard back in 1993, has gained power and warmth over the years. She offered a wonderfully phrased Mimi from La Boheme, and also partnered Ms. Perez in the Flower Duet from Lakme. Ms. Brown came back with “Dich teure Halle” from Wagner’s Tannhäuser, but sounded as if she came not to praise the hall, but to punch a hole in the back wall. (Her German diction wasn't on par with her Italian, however.)

Galupe-Borszkh thoughtfully helped us out with Ms. Perez’ second aria, from Luna’s El Niño Judio, by translating it as “The Nice Jewish Boy,” and added that it was made famous by the great Spanish soprano Victoria de los Angeles, which she translated as “Vicki from L.A.”

Aprile Millo returned to enthusiastic applause, and then addressed the audience, asking for their moral support, as she announced that her mother is in the terminal stages of cancer.

She then sang the aria “La mamma morta” – “My Mother’s Dead” – from Giordano’s Andrea Chenier. Seriously.

As a person of faith, I was touched that the Yankees/Rossini fan in the seat next to me bowed his head in prayer in solidarity with Madame Millo during the aria.

As an audience member, I was irked that he prayed aloud.

Signora Galupe-Borszkh overstayed her welcome by about two musical numbers, in my opinion, but overall the evening was outstanding. Bass-baritone Richard Bernstein also contributed a solid if stiff Toreador Song, and filled in for the ailing no-show tenor in the finale from Candide.

Compromise, Swindle, or Sell Out?

Okay, let me see if I understand this Senate "compromise" on wacked-out judicial nominees: Republicans will let Democrats keep the filibuster as long as they promise not to use it. Am I getting this right?

The "bipartisan" members of the panel that met to hammer out this "compromise" claim that the result is that the Senate has maintained its integrity.

I didn't realize that "integrity" meant a political spin job on giving a pass to three radical, unethical judges.

Fundamentalism Isn't Just for Christians Anymore

Evolution is in danger of becoming extinct. It ceases to be science, and instead becomes a rallying point for fundamentalist dogma.

The New York Times today published a series of letters to the editor regarding the ongoing debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools. The obvious hostility in some of the letters was as astounding as the hypocrisy.

There are many people who do not believe in God, or, to put it another way, they believe that God does not exist. Is that a testable idea? Do atheists have libraries of data, or even a single verifiable fact? No.

Fundamentalism is dangerous. But fundamentalism is not confined to established religions. You see, there is such a thing as secular fundamentalism: that is, the belief that religion is fraud and that all people of faith are either sadly duped morons or have willfully deceived themselves. The very things that secularists despise most about religious fundamentalists -- arrogance, self-righteousness, judgmental attitudes and a stubborn unwillingness to consider new ideas -- are their own hallmarks.

One letter in today's Times lamented "this sad turn toward anti-intellectualism that is infecting our educational system." You know the nation is in trouble when a presidential candidate can be accused of being a member of the "intellectual elite" and vast swaths of America nod their collective heads, instead of laughing uncontrollably. I mean, of all the jobs in the world for an "intellectual" to have, don't you think President of the United States is a good one? Without an intellectual in charge, you get food on your family and increasing amounts of imports coming from overseas.

The cause of anti-intellectualism is fundamentalism. Fundamentalism is the fear of new ideas. People who have been "educated" with a narrow, highly-selective range of information and indoctrinated into belief systems of incontrovertible truths are easily manipulated. It is not a coincidence that the Republican party leadership, increasingly indistinguishable from radical religious fundamentalists, dismisses even the most timid questions about policy as "un-patriotic." In America, patriotism is becoming orthodoxy, as evidenced by the recent "filibuster against faith" nonsense.

The result is that radical secularists become even more entrenched in their "religion = bad" beliefs. Secular fundamentalists are every bit as paranoid that their children might be exposed to ideas that would lead them to become Baptists as Baptists are that their children might become Unitarian.

Secularists are often so ignorant of religious beliefs and ideas that they make outrageous statements like this letter writer: "Buried in the faulty rhetoric of intelligent design theory is the presumption that the human mind should be able to comprehend everything about the world." Actually, just the opposite: science seeks to provide an explanation for all things, while proponents of intelligent design are comfortable with the idea that some things are beyond knowing or explaining.

Religion should be taught in the public schools. Secular fundamentalists who would decry this as a form of Constitutional heresy aren't any more enlightened than religious fundamentalists who deprive their children of basic information about sex and sexuality. I can guarantee that Jesus never said, “Blessed are the willfully ignorant.”

There is a way, believe it or not, to teach religion without preaching or proselytizing. You just do it the same way you'd teach a philosophy course. Make students read a little of this, a little of that, have an in-class discussion, assign a paper. Done. Sure, those discussions might get a little heated. But honestly, what is wrong with that? America was founded as a place for people to discuss various ideas.

When a teacher or professor assigns Macchiavelli or Adam Smith or Hobbes, no one expects everyone in the class to agree with the material. Some students will strongly identify with it, and others will reject it wholesale. Most will be somewhere in between. But that open exchange of ideas is a component that has all but been eradicated from American public education, as we strive to water down the curriculum to appease the P.C. police and get students to pass the standardized tests. I'm all for standardized testing as a general diagnostic, but life is not a standardized test.

Just as secularists think religious people should study science, secularists should study religion. The Bible is, after all, the most widely read book in the history of mankind. Some people might scoff at anyone who hasn’t read Virginia Woolf, but they think people who are wholly ignorant of religion have made good use of their time. You cannot hope to understand western art, culture and history in any substantive way unless you also understand the role that religion has played. You don’t have to believe it, but you’ve got to understand it.

Having an understanding of and appreciation for religion is also a crucial skill in today’s ever-shrinking world. There are no permanent or long-term or even temporarily tenable solutions to ancient conflicts in the middle east and south Asia to be found that aren’t sensitive to the religious needs of the cultures involved.

In order to solve the great problems facing our planet, we have all got to be open to new ideas. That’s a lesson fundamentalists of every stripe are reluctant to learn.

Moral Relativism

If you think I'm weird for going to see the 9:15 a.m. showing of the new Star Wars movie on a Saturday, you should have seen the woman who was there in a wedding dress.

Stupid...like this fortune cookie

Topic 1: tonight's fortune cookie.

Listen not to vain words of empty tongue. Exactly. Into the garbage with you.

Topic 2: My New Downstairs Neighbor

She came up earlier this evening to complain that my television was too loud.

It wasn't on.

Topic 3: National Treasure

Okay, I knew this was a dumb movie when I rented it. I wasn't expecting Oscar material. But sheesh, for all the thought that went in to linking all these clues and coming up with Masonic symbolism blah blah blah, they sure left some gaping huge holes.

Like, take this set-up: the location of one of the clues is hidden somewhere in Independence Hall in Philadelphia. Are you with me so far? Good. The location can be identified when the shadow from the tower that used to house the Liberty Bell crosses over it at a specific time. What time? Why, 2:22, the time the clock shows on the engraving on the back of a US $100 bill. (If I had a hundred-dollar bill, I'd check.) What time was it when our heroes discovered this part of the puzzle? 3:00 p.m. Well, shit.

But wait! Don't despair. Hot computer geek Riley (who should have got the girl, I'm sorry) remembers that in Benjamin Franklin's day they didn't have daylight savings time, so right now it would only be 2:00 if it weren't for DST! That gives them 22 minutes to get to the top of Independence Hall to see where the shadow falls.

Okay, clever. Sort of.

Why do we have daylight savings time? Because the sun changes position, hello. (Okay, okay, I know, it's the earth that moves, I'm sorry.) Nowhere in this conversation did a date enter into the picture. I mean, the shadow from the bell tower isn't going to fall in the same place on December 12 that it does on July 7. Actually, they'll be pretty far off. But never mind. On whatever random stupid day it was, Nicolas Cage was able to spot the exact brick (from 100 yards off) inside which was hidden a secret pair of 3-D glasses designed by Franklin.

Also, like...I'm sorry, did it bother anyone else that during a gala event in the National Archives, they'd have exactly one guard watching over the room containing the Declaration of Independence? Of course, maybe thanks to Bush's tax cuts that was an accurate depiction of the current state of security in America.

Rant

Who is the asshole that designed those fucking two-faucet sinks? You know, with one faucet for ice cold and one faucet for scalding hot and never the twain shall meet? Even worse are the ones that you actually have to press down on in order to get water to come out, so that you can never rinse both hands at the same time.

Who thought that was a good idea?

And who buys them? Probably some un-hygienic freak who's never washed his hands in his life so he never considered how frickin' inconvenient and illogical such a retarded-ass sink is.

It's cold and raining today. My umbrella is broken. I don't know what it is. I lived in Oregon for 12 years and I don't remember ever having to deal with a broken umbrella. In Manhattan, I buy about one umbrella a month.

Question for the ages: when it's raining, how do you stop at the coffee cart and manage to pick up your breakfast, take out your wallet and pay for it while holding your umbrella? And now that you're holding a bag containing coffee and a donut, how do you get your wallet out again to show the security guy your building pass?

Easy. You put the umbrella down. It's so windy it'll just rip apart anyway.

So I was a little wet when I got to work. So was my paper bag. So was my donut.

The coffee guy -- he's so adorably cute, so I'll let it go -- put my Friday Boston Creme in the bag with the chocolate side facing the coffee cup. Also the coffee cup lid leaked. So when I got to my cubicle and set the bag down, a chocolate/coffee/rainwater puddle immediately started spreading across my desk. Fortunately I had napkins on hand.

I reached into the bag to take out the coffee, and all the chocolate frosting from the donut has melted and stuck to the cup. The cup has more frosting than my donut.

TGIF.

Hobbit Sexuality Update

This little tidbit popped up on Towleroad today. I guess that answers that question!

If you didn't click on the link in the post below to the "special" photos of Dom, I recommend taking a peek. Potentially NSFW. Perhaps I misled when I said they were "clean" photos. By "clean," I meant they were taken in the shower.

The Homosexual Agenda Advances

"Everybody Loves Raymond" canceled.

Hobbit Porn

The rumors of my hobbit fetish are greatly exaggerated.

I happen to be a Tolkien fan, it's true, and I'm also a fan of Peter Jackson's movies. But this pervasive belief that I have a thing for three-foot seven curly-headed guys with size 15 hairy feet is not really accurate. It's just that the actors who played the four principal hobbits in the films are all so darn cute.

Exactly.

First there's the adorable Billy Boyd. Even if you're not necessarily into the slight build and the thinning hair, there's his infectious smile and hypnotic Scottish accent.

Do you think Billy's sexy? You can vote your opinion on this site. If this pic doesn't do it for you, the one on the link might change your mind. Sign me up for second breakfast please. Also elevensies, lunch, dinner, supper and afternoon tea.

Then of course there's Dominic Monaghan, currently breaking hearts on the hit show Lost. Yeah, pretty cute.

He looks like a dirty boy, doesn't he? Personally, I also like him when he's nice and clean, like in these pics here.

Everyone who knows me knows that my favorite is cuddly-looking Sean Astin. I know most people don't get this, but to me he just seems like such a sweet, mellow all-around good guy. Plus we all know I'm not really into skinny boys. And he's a Democratic activist!

Sigh. He wasn't always a portly hobbit, you know. Need proof?

So lastly that brings us to Elijah Wood. Nothing against Elijah. I mean, he's just kind of petite; not just short, but "small." Also he is what I would call "pretty." And I'm not really into "pretty." But then I discovered this picture:

Hello. Yes, he's still petite and pretty, but...this pic has some attitude. Mmmm. And then I discovered a website devoted to evidence that Elijah Wood is Very, Very Gay.

If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch a few selected scenes from Return of the King now.

Flushing Dignity Down the Toilet

I hope it's not true that "interrogators" at the Guantanamo Bay facility put a copy of the Koran in a toilet and flushed it as part of a campaign to dispirit prisoners and break their pride, hoping that they will give us valuable intelligence on al Qaeda.

Apparently an "investigation" is under way, but given the Abu Ghraib whitewash, I don't have a lot of confidence that we will ever hear anything resembling truth. It doesn't matter, though. Like the little boy who cried wolf, we haven't a shred of credibility left anyway. An official assurance from the U.S. government isn't worth one Italian lira on the Arab street today, or anywhere else, for that matter.

True or not, this allegation so perfectly fits the pattern of documented abuses coming out of Cuba, Iraq and elsewhere that its mere plausibility should strike fear and shame into the hearts of Americans everywhere. Who are we? What have we become?

Apparently we've become a country with a government that thinks it's okay to take a devoutly religious prisoner and allow him to be smeared across the face with what he is told is menstrual blood. Your tax dollars paid for that, by the way.

What sickens me the most is the broad, if quiet, support for these kinds of tactics in the conservative Christian community. There are actually folks out there, like Lt. General William Boykin, who argue that we can only defeat the terrorists "if we come against them in the name of Jesus." To my way of thinking, that means with a smile on your face and your arms open, not in a tank or a Black Hawk.

Jesus rebuked, but he never insulted. If he embarrassed anyone, it was because he demonstrated to them the folly and hypocrisy of their own words and actions. He did not go around ranting and raving about the evils of other religions, but he did spend a lot of time criticizing the leaders of his own faith. Jesus, who endured the ultimate torture of the cross and days in hell, is not someone who would have paraded naked prisoners around at the end of a leash, even as it was done to him. For Jesus, the end doesn't justify the means; right action and moral clarity were everything.

If we are in fact a "Christian" nation, as Boykin and others have asserted, where is our righteous indignation? Are we seriously more concerned that Janet Jackson bared a breast than that thousands of prisoners are being held and tortured in this manner without being charged with any crime, without access to counsel and without hope of a fair trial? Would Jesus travel halfway across the country to fight the "homosexual agenda" by picketing a high school graduation? Or would he have used those resources to help people in need? Where are our priorities?

In the toilet.

I Have Got to Stop Drinking Heineken After 10 PM

Okay, if you thought last night's dream was random...

I had this dream that I was at a large dinner reception hosted by my mother's friend's T & V. In reality, they own a beautiful Victorian-era farmhouse out in the middle of nowhere Oregon, but in my dream their dining room looked like the multi-purpose room of some suburban church. Yeah, I know. Ew.

Anyway, at one point part of the brick wall began to glow a bright blue, and something that everyone called a "wormhole" began to open up and this thing started to slowly extract itself from the wall and then drop onto the floor as the hole closed up.

It was a long carved piece of wood, like a walking stick of some kind, and it was beautifully decorated with Japanese writing. They decided to give it to me. I guess because it was my dream.

My dad was in this one, too. He was setting up a tent -- like, you know, for camping -- in the corner of the dining room and refusing to join the rest of us.

Yeah, that'll happen

Do you ever wake up from a dream and wonder what's wrong with your brain?

So I just had this dream that I was driving around with my dad talking about what a great movie Whatever Happened to Baby Jane was. He particularly liked my impersonation of Bette Davis doing Joan Crawford ordering liquor over the phone. (Which in my dream was almost as impressive as knowing the recipe for glue.)

On a roll as Bette Davis, I gargled out, "Drink your drink."

"Ha, that was a good one," said Dad.

My father is a teetotaling southern baptist.

It's Probably Too Late

You can tell so much about a person based on what they read. Whenever I go to a person's house, I'm always eager to take a look at their bookshelf. Similarly, I'm always a little careful about what I'm reading in public. I like to project an image of liberal sophistication.

I could only muster sympathy for the sad-looking woman on the A-train this morning who was reading this.

A Season of New Beginnings

Interesting things are going on in my little corner of the world.

Of course you all know that I've begun a new career at the forefront of office-management activism, and I'm loving it! I've been in a real emotional limbo for the past couple of years, feeling very much without purpose or direction. For the time being, that problem has been solved.

I haven't been alone in this, however. Several of my friends have also been treading water, as it were, trying to keep from drowning but not really getting anywhere. But in recent weeks, JWC got into grad school; FS got exactly the job he was going after; MG got into the NYPD academy; and just today JPV was hired by a big law firm.

It looks like things are finally turning around for us. And not a moment too soon! Hurray!

Another Overheard in New York Tribute

Girl, about 3, walks up to the guy passing out am New York at the 181st Street Station.

Girl: One newspaper, please.
Guy: Here you go, sweetie.
Girl: Thank you.
Dad: Are we going to read that together, honey?
Girl: No! You can get your own.

Greetings from Gayville

Okay, I admit it, I've written practically nothing for days. First my blog just disappeared for some reason, but then also I've just not had time to sit down and compose anything what with starting the new job and all.

And also I guess I'm in one of those rare periods where I just don't have all that much to say.

The new job is going great! My office is cozy and friendly and everyone seems really nice. It is such a relief to be out of the corporate environment, where people feel free to talk like...well, like people. Oh, and I can wear jeans to work. It's like some kind of beautiful dream!

As for what I do, well...there isn't really much to tell you. I'm the human resources/administration/finance administrative assistant. I basically do everything for everyone, and none of it is particularly exciting or glamorous. You know, I order supplies, I collect timesheets, I distribute memos, I load paper into copiers, blah blah blah. Fine. I'm at the bottom of the totem pole. But seriously, folks, when we finally get you the right to get married, I want you all to stop and remember that it might not have happened if Andy hadn't kept the toner supply stocked.

A big, big thank you to all my many wonderful friends who came out for happy hour on Tuesday to celebrate. It was great to see you and I had a lot of fun. I thought I'd be there for a couple of hours tops, then go home and be bored. I was astonished at one point to look down at my watch and discover it was 11 p.m.